


Thorough Debriefing

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-22 20:02:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crimes of the heart in a high-paced, high-stakes career in law, are commonplace.  Unfortunately, most lessons are learned the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write Adam as a suit given his recent "straitlaced" Fiasco cover. I have also developed an interest in the actor Ben Whishaw, but you can use your imagination any way you want to. As always I do not know these people. This fiction is for entertainment purposes only.

There were talks of cut backs in the DA’s office. The support staff felt particularly vulnerable. Maybe their contributions could be performed with a little less manpower. Seniority didn’t necessarily play as large a part as favoritism so legal assistants both fresh and seasoned were vying for their employers’ attention. The entire situation was causing tension . . . the most innocent of motivations left in question. Some of the Assistant DA’s had admitted there would be competition among them . . . who would stay, who would go. Ben was new since November last. He was assigned to Adam Lambert, one of the most successful Asst. DA’s who held court under the leadership of District Attorney Claudia Dreyfus. Her ballbuster mentality had given her an apt nickname, the Dragon Lady, a title more of respect than mockery. Everyone knew that Adam was her favorite . . . well, everyone but Adam himself. Ben hoped that gave him an advantage. Maybe Adam would put in a good word for him but only if he earned it. Ben volunteered, stayed late, doubled down. He was ready at any moment for the “unofficial” interview that might determine if he made the cut.

Adam nudged his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ben looked up without lifting his head. They had been pouring over documents for hours. Adam had to try an armed robbery case in the morning. He was ready, but there was no margin for error. LAPD had not been able to provide a weapon, so the entire case relied on circumstantial evidence and rather biased witnesses. Adam would have to win over the jurors by discrediting the defendant. Jorge Martinez insisted on testifying on his own behalf. It might be because he didn’t trust his lawyer or because he expected racism. Unfortunately, that opened the door to use prior convictions against him. Adam hoped to make the court focus on Martinez’s ample record rather than his alibi which was sketchy at best. Although Martinez pleaded not guilty, the prosecution had reason to believe he was not wholly innocent either. In the matter of justice, Adam always walked a fine line between his hunger for truth and his lust for winning. 

Adam was grateful for assistance on this one. Ben was good. He was really good. He didn’t do the work for praise, but whenever Adam pursed his lips and lifted an eyebrow, Ben knew he had impressed him. Most young paralegals set their sights on large firms, so turnover was pretty high in the DA’s office. Prosecution was grunt work, but Ben liked getting his hands dirty. Ben had been with them for six months, but he was only recently Adam’s. Working for Adam Lambert had been an incredible experience. He admired him. Adam was well-revered in court for his competence and integrity. The fact that Ben found Adam incredibly sexy was irrelevant. Ben shook his head. No matter how many times he said it to himself, he couldn’t make it true. In truth, the attraction was perilously distracting. 

It was after 10:00 pm. Adam and Ben had loosened their ties and rolled up their sleeves. Adam had a habit of running his long and impeccably manicured fingers through his hair when he was thinking. The top was no longer tame. Silvery pieces had fallen out of place across his forehead. Ben imagined how he must look fresh out of bed and shook his head again, clearly failing at keeping his thoughts to the task at hand. Adam clicked Save and Print then put his hands behind his head, leaned back in his desk chair and yawned. 

Ben cleared his throat. “Can I get you some coffee?”

“No thanks. I’d be up all night. You want to take a break?”

“Nah, we’re almost done.” Ben could feel Adam’s eyes on him. He stared at the page before him, but the words were just a blur.

“We’ve pulled a lot of late hours together haven’t we?”

Ben glanced up. “I’m used to it.”

“You probably think I’m a slave driver.”

“No I don’t. Your schedule is no more demanding than my internship.”

“Now THAT is truly slave labor.”

“I guess it would be tedious if I didn’t find the law so interesting.”

Adam looked at him skeptically. “You’ve been reading the same page for the past twenty minutes.”

Ben was busted, and he smiled. “Okay, okay . . . I’m tired, but I don’t get paid leave.”

“You don’t get overtime either. I think it’s time we should negotiate working conditions.”

Adam stroked his stubble-covered chin while he was concentrating and had no idea the reaction it triggered in Ben. Ben remembered that stubble last winter at their seasonal office party. Ben had been employed there a little over a month. He and Adam had met and worked on a shared case, but they didn’t really know each other. It was well after hours. Everyone had a few too many. Adam had become languid and haughty. Ben had been harboring an office crush, but thankfully Adam seemed to be unaware. At the party, when he caught Adam looking him up and down without any filter whatsoever, Ben looked back equally unguarded. He immediately regretted it. He tried to escape the situation entirely. He hurried down the hallway to the copy room, a place where he spent quite a lot of his time. A visit to the copy room meant he was making progress. It was a place he could stake a claim in the chaos of a busy office. My copier, my turn . . . get your own. It meant he had a few moments to think while the sickle whisper of papers falling into the tray helped clear his head. He held the finished prints close to his chest and welcomed their fresh warmth since an insufferable lack of ventilation in the building forced them to run the A/C at arctic levels 24/7. Ben had edged around the corner into the kitchenette where a microwave, a coffee pot, and a fridge offered the hungry and exasperated small libations of energy. He felt safe for only a moment before Adam Lambert found his prey and backed him into a file closet. Ben went without resistance. It was such a bad idea, but God help him, he wanted this so badly. He had wriggled against the onslaught. His clothes twisted and no longer fit him. He was sinking . . . dissolving. He couldn’t breathe. Ben gasped and moaned raggedly on the exhale then he landed. He wasn’t aware he had been lifted until his feet hit the floor. His shirt, creased and damp began to chill him immediately. He opened his eyes to a vision of Adam in soft focus . . . head bent and hands on his hips. “Get out . . . get OUT!” Ben didn’t move. Adam charged him, but Ben was frozen. Adam growled like an animal and shoved a stack of accordion envelopes onto the floor. He approached Ben again with apprehension, then firmly but gently pushed him toward the door. “I mean it . . . get the fuck out . . . please.” 

Ben had expected the worst . . . dismissal. But, when he came back to work, Adam didn’t mention it. No inquiries or apologies necessary. It was business as usual. Over the next few days, an unspoken agreement emerged. They could stay safely in professional proximity because it really had meant nothing. At least it had meant nothing to Adam, apparently. For Ben, not a night went by that he didn’t relive the pressure of Adam’s thighs pinning him to the wall, the plump wet grip of his lips, the smothering invasion of his tongue, the tentative yearning in his fingertips . . . and the chafing, that abrasive scrape of Adam’s stubbly jaw against his neck, the same stubble he wore now. Ben remembered every sensation and cherished the connection between them even if it amounted to nothing more than a stolen moment. They hadn’t even done anything in spite of the fact that Ben was obviously quite willing. That must have been what crossed Adam’s mind and stopped him from proceeding. It must have occurred to him in the furthest corner of sobriety he had left that he could fuck this boy without any resistance whatsoever. It was the kindness that killed him. Adam said, please. Ben would have preferred to consider Adam a raging asshole, but he couldn’t. Even when Ben was assigned to Adam weeks later, Adam remained aloof and welcomed him aboard with at best a friendly formality. Ben had been able to stand it even when Adam seemed to be testing him . . . like now. 

When they were alone, many of Adam’s casual comments could be considered innuendo. Ben suspected Adam just liked to mess with him, but it was getting old. Under the current circumstances of questionable job security, the innocent flirting seemed manipulative. Their suggestive banter about Ben’s working conditions sounded vaguely like bending over a desk. Others might call Adam out for sexual harassment, but not Ben. All this time, Ben had trusted they could maintain a balance between mutual respect and attraction, but now it just seemed Adam was being insensitive. Ben wondered if he had been blinded by his desire, that perhaps Adam had been jerking him around all along. If he wanted to take advantage of Ben, surely he would have tried before now. 

Adam was studying him. “Hmmm . . . your wages are out of my hands, but I don’t see why you couldn’t earn a bonus.” Ben smiled weakly. Adam had stressed the first syllable . . . BONE-us. He laughed, but Ben didn’t. “I’m sorry. That was highly inappropriate.”

Ben wasn’t in the mood. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“No, of course not.” Adam’s smile faded. “Seriously, though, I don’t know how you can support yourself on what you make here.” 

Wait a minute . . . was this pity? Why was Adam so interested all of a sudden? Ben didn’t want to deny that he really needed this job, but he didn’t want to appear desperate either. It was a pride thing. Other paralegals were practically groveling at this point. Ben held them in contempt. He got defensive. “I don’t have many expenses. I live in the same studio apartment I rented right out of college. I got a bit of a stipend for the internship, but I had to work a couple nights a week and weekends.”

“Part-time jobs suck.”

“It wasn’t bad. The wages were terrible, but I managed all right with tips.”

“A waiter?”

“I bartended at the Cosmos.” The faintest glimmer of recognition crossed Adam’s face then faded again. They never discussed their sexuality openly. Why would they? It would have been too personal to talk about ‘the community’ when they were both obviously set on being completely mainstream in a line of work where appearances counted for ninety percent of the job description. A lawyer could be well-educated and well-prepared and still fall on his face if he couldn’t become whatever the judge and jury wanted him to be. Adam could read people very well. Homophobia would lose him a lot of cases if the general populace knew he frequented gay bars. But, even more unsettling was the fact that Ben mentioning the Cosmos was an indirect affirmation that they were indeed gay and they knew the other was gay and they had proven it thoroughly in the way they ignited the file closet. Adam was visibly disturbed, but Ben wasn’t going to let it go. He couldn’t continue with an elephant in the room. It was time they stop playing games. “I think I saw you there a couple times.”

Adam contemplated whether he wanted to continue this conversation. “Yeah, I’ve been there, but I don’t remember . . .”

“That’s because you never had to get your own drinks.” Ben was about to blow it. 

Adam frowned and worked his mouth. “I’m not always like that. I went through a bad break up last year. Nothing like drowning your sorrows in booze and cum, right?”

Adam’s frankness could be brutal. He had shocked witnesses on the stand putting them off their guard leaving them helpless. It worked. Ben’s perspective shifted. “Was it the job?”

“What?” Ben had taken Adam back to a place he hadn’t wanted to go.

“Your breakup . . . was it because of the job?”

“That was part of it. We were together all through law school, but after the hard part was over we stopped connecting in lots of ways. We tried to make it work a couple more years, but I guess we weren’t as strong as we thought we were.”

Ben could relate, but he didn’t want sympathy. He viewed his past very matter-of-factly. “Transitions are the hardest. When I finished school, my boyfriend moved out. I couldn’t make the rent by myself. I hooked up with this guy. He had a studio and wanted to take pictures of me.” 

Adam swallowed. “Portraits?”

“Nudes. But they were tasteful . . . no frontal situations.”

“I’m sure they’re beautiful.”

Ben ignored the compliment. “Well, I really needed the money. He promised I could make a bundle if I was willing to do porn.”

“No.” Adam bit his tongue before he said anymore. It really wasn’t any of his business. 

“I actually thought about it. I had no idea where my career was going, and I was so miserably heartbroken. He took me to the Cosmos one night with a video camera.”

“Oh, Ben . . .not the vault?”

“Yeah . . . I . . .”

“I’m not going to lie. I’ve been there. I was so fucking drunk. Trust me. Three hours in a scalding hot shower isn’t enough to wash that off.” Adam sighed. He seemed wearied by the futility of the law . . . disappointed in his inability to rid the streets of predators. “Tell me who this guy is so I can rip his fucking head off.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t go through with it. The manager saw what was going on and rescued me. He offered me a job. I pulled drafts until I learned how to make drinks.” Ben smiled. “Sometimes he’d let me serve the drunks, though.”

Adam was amused. “I’m sure they didn’t notice.”

“The tips kept coming. I pulled myself together, took an internship, and now I’m here.”

“Any regrets?”

“I don’t believe in regrets.”

“Neither do I.”

Ben suspected Adam was referring to their interlude, but he covered quickly. Adam’s eyes began to glitter behind a wry smile. “I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told anybody else . . . anyone around here, I mean.” Adam leaned forward in his desk chair. “I had a side job in law school. I got gigs singing in nightclubs.”

“You sing?”

“Yeah. I used to. It’s how I met my boyfriend. He was a manager, almost convinced me to quit school for a future in entertainment.”

“You must be really good.”

“I was all right.” Adam failed to hide what an understatement that was. “That’s what finally finished us. He felt I was wasting my life. I did try it, being a recording artist, but I wasn’t in very long before the wheeling and dealing started. The music industry is just as corrupt as everything else. They take advantage . . . too many people taking advantage just like your photographer. I want to put guys like that away.”

Ben wanted to tell Adam he was making a difference, to tell him how much he admired him, how much he cared . . . no no no, Ben, you idiot, don’t fall in love. “We’re going to be here all night at this rate.”

“Uh oh. That’ll cost me.”

Ben was back to good. “It’s negotiable.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Adam Lambert burst into the office with his briefcase but no coat. The secretary behind her desk was alarmed. “Mr. Lambert? You’re soaking wet!”  


“Good eye, Janie. Cab got caught in traffic. I thought I could make it before the downpour. Get Ben for me right away. I’m going to be late.”

Ben’s knock was greeted with a brusque, “Get in here, now!”

“Wow . . . what the hell happened to you?”

“I took a swim. What the fuck does it look like? I’ve got to make opening remarks for the Martinez case in less than an hour. Shut the door and help me.”

Ben was concerned that things would be awkward between him and Adam after their heart to heart talk the night before, but in the light of day, he realized it hadn’t been that deep. Adam had no ulterior motive. He was only making conversation, and Ben was still very much an employee. He did as he was told. Adam had already removed his jacket and his shoes. He was stripping swiftly, but the struggle was counterproductive due to his haste. His shirt and pants were clinging and heavy, practically impossible to peel away when Adam was squirming. “Stand still. Let me do it.”

“Hurry. I’m getting cold.” Ben deftly unfastened the buttons of Adam’s shirt front while Adam fumbled with the cuffs. The two of them managed to pull the garment over his head to save time. When Adam went for his pants, Ben averted his eyes waiting further instruction. “Don’t just stand there. Go get my other suit in the closet.”

Ben took the pieces carefully off the hangers and put them across a high back chair. He stared out the window, but there was a lot of creamy skin in his peripheral vision. “Where’s the underwear?” 

Ben looked in the closet again. “There isn’t any. It’s empty.”

“Great. This is fucking ridiculous.”

Ben reached behind him still modestly looking elsewhere. Adam stuffed the wad of his damp briefs into Ben’s open hand. They were still warm, and Ben kind of died a little.

“Can you do my tie?” Adam loosely tucked in the shirt while Ben knotted his tie. Adam smoothed his hair which had enough product in it to go back in place except for a couple rebellious strands that framed his forehead. “Hey, look at me. Can you tell I’m going commando?” Adam stood there with his hands on his hips like a department store mannequin. 

Ben wanted to laugh and drop to his knees at the same time. How would he manage this one? “Uh, turn sideways.” 

“This is so mortifying.”

Ben looked. He had looked so many times, but never like this . . . deliberately at the front of Adam’s pants. “Nah . . . you’re good.” It didn’t take but a second for Ben to reject the office gossip that Asst. DA, Adam Lambert probably stuffed. Ben didn’t let on that he had felt evidence to the contrary first hand. Now he knew for certain with his own eyes that it was all Adam. 

“No socks either?” Ben's eyes widened. Had Adam read his mind about the stuffing? Of course not, Ben shook his head. Adam shrugged and eased his bare feet into the low heeled loafers, and they squished a little. Adam grabbed his briefcase and checked his pockets. He flew down the hall and called over his shoulder. “Janie?” 

“Yes, Mr. Lambert!”

“When you get a minute, will you take my suit to the dry cleaners?”

“Of course.” She scrambled from behind her desk.

Ben was keeping up. “I have an umbrella. Do you want it?” 

“Yeah, I do. Go get it and meet me at the elevators. Go go go!”

Before the sliding doors closed, Adam saw something that made him smile. Ben looked down and realized he’d absent-mindedly stuffed Adam’s underwear in his pocket. He tried to hide them from view on his way back down the hall. Ben let himself into Adam’s office. Janie had already taken his suit. He couldn’t just toss them on the floor. The closet! Of course, think it through, Ben. He spread them out so they would dry, but they wouldn’t lie flat. They had shaped to Adam’s body. Ben’s thoughts about Adam had run the gambit from mildly to severely perverted, but this took Ben into total creeper range. He held Adam’s briefs under his nose and sniffed them. He detected the faint perfume of laundry detergent and something else . . . him. Ben breathed even deeper. It was him, him, hiiiimmmmm. Ben lost his mind. He locked Adam’s door and sank into his desk chair. The rain was still coming down like a torrent beating against the window panes with a sensual rhythm. He leaned back and slipped his hand down the front of his pants. He bit his lip to keep from making sounds. He spread his legs and put his feet on opposite drawers. He stroked his cock with his right hand and rubbed Adam’s underwear against his balls with his left. Ben shot his load into the cloth. He washed them in the men’s room and dried them back to damp with a hand blower. He didn’t look himself in the mirror.

The rest of the day Ben pretended to be sorting, filing, researching . . . but he couldn’t think about work. He expected at any moment for the building security to escort him out. Someone had to have heard him. That dirty, dirty deed had to show on his face. Long suppressed images of Adam crept into his consciousness. He hadn’t told Adam about the Cosmos before because employees weren’t supposed to see that side of their bosses. The DA’s office was a completely different environment. Ben had convinced Adam that he had only seen him a couple times at the Cosmos when in reality, Adam was a regular. Ben saw him at his table a lot. He would always come with friends, boys and girls. They would drink an incredible amount of alcohol, laugh boisterously, and make out like no one was watching. At last call, a bare-bottomed waiter would bring the final round. Adam would tap him on the hip holding a fifty between his fingers. His eager servant would raise the tray above his head so Adam could tuck the bill in the front of his apron. After that, Adam often chose a boy to take home. In spite of the fact that he was surrounded by beautiful people . . . singers, actors, models, Adam always left with a boy like Ben. At one point, Ben was so intent on meeting Adam, he asked one of the waiters if he could take the drinks to Adam’s table. It was a wake-up call. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

[[[“Dude, you’re cute but I’m not gonna split tips with your scrawny ass. Besides, you don’t want that action. Adam might look like a good time, but he only comes here slummin’. Didn’t you know? Adam’s some big wig attorney. He’s just keepin’ it on the down low. He spends a fortune on booze for a hook up, then BAM! I don’t even think they know what hit them. He’s a user, kid. He knows how to get what he wants. Didn’t you get a degree or something? Man, it’s time you get the fuck out of here.”]]]

Ben took his advice and applied for a job at the DA’s office. He had no idea Adam would be there. An assistant DA does not qualify as ‘big wig’ anything. Ben immediately surmised Adam simply let the staff at Cosmos believe whatever they wanted to. He wondered what other misunderstandings kept Adam a mystery to the outside world. Ben had taken too much time to think about things like that. He didn’t want to be part of Adam’s outside world anymore. He longed to trust in someone again.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam was gone all day. The judge must have wanted to wrap up the armed robbery case in one session. Ben knew it was probably killing Adam after having been up late the night before. As exhausted as he must be, Adam wouldn’t go straight home. He always needed to debrief after a trial, leave it at the office. Ben just couldn’t go until he knew Adam was back. He stayed long after everyone else had called it a day. Now that it was quieter in the office, Ben could accomplish the tasks he was supposed to be tackling instead of daydreaming about Adam. 

Ben jerked awake. A custodian rattled her cart onto the elevator. When had he fallen asleep? According to his watch, he’d been out about an hour. It was stupid to wait any longer. He gathered up his jacket and keys then blinked awake. A narrow line of light illumined a patch on the floor in the hallway outside Adam’s office. Upon closer inspection, the door was ajar so Ben peered in unannounced. Adam sat with this head resting on the back of the couch. He held an icy highball half full of whiskey. His tie was completely undone. His shirt was open to the middle of his chest and untucked. Ben side-eyed the desk chair before he softly tapped his knuckles on the door jamb.  


Adam lifted his head. His eyes looked a little blurry even from this side. “Ben?” 

“Martinez?”

“What?”

“You lost the armed robbery.”

Adam took a sip and shook his head. “Nope, I won. Stupid fuck let me get away with leading the witness. I crucified that guy. Martinez is a criminal no question, but he wasn’t guilty.”

“Really? You weren’t so sure last night.”

Adam studied his glass. “Yeah . . . illegal search and seizure. The lead officer showed up with the gun like some kind of hero. It was a set up.”

“Did the defense ask for a continuance?” 

“He did, but I objected . . . suggested a recess instead. The judge went my way this time. When we reconvened, the defense couldn’t crack the cop’s testimony. There wasn’t enough evidence to convict without the gun so I played along. The whole damn thing was a pissing contest.” 

“You know, the DA . . .”

“Ohhhhh, the Dragon Lady . . .”

“She expects you to do your job. It’s up to the defense to do theirs. They’ll appeal anyway, right?”

“I would. I just don’t feel right about it. Everyone has the right to legal representation. Council was fresh out of law school, and I went for the throat. I only won because I made him look bad in front of the jury.”

“How long did they deliberate?”

Adam huffed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Fifteen maybe twenty minutes tops. Fastest verdict I’ve ever gotten. I can’t imagine what I said to convince them?”

“Actually, I doubt they were even listening to you.”

Adam squinted quizzically. “You think they’d already made up their minds because the defendant was Hispanic?”

Ben smiled crookedly. “No, because you went commando.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose in surprise, then he burst out laughing. “You told me you couldn’t tell!”

“I lied.”

“Great, so you’re suggesting I won with my dick!?”

“Sure. It’s a classic offense . . . subversive cock intimidation.” 

“That’s brutal.”

“Listen, you know that every novice gets fucked over at some point. You taught him a lesson. No excuses.”

“So heartless . . . I thought you’d sympathize being a fellow newbie yourself.”

Ben frowned. “I’m six months in, and even I already know you step it up or you move on.”

“Hmmmm . . .” Adam was savoring his words. “Ambition so thick you can smell it.”

Ben cleared his throat. “I just meant you’ve got to get smarter and stronger if you want to get ahead. Defense council had to learn the hard way.”

“Come here.” Adam patted the couch cushion next to him. Ben stiffened. “Come on, come closer . . . sit by me.” Ben reluctantly took a step forward. Adam shrugged expectantly. He wasn’t going to ask again. “Yes or no?”

“Maybe . . .” 

“Ha! You’re still negotiating? I promise this is no casting couch, honey. You won’t get ahead in my lap.”

Ben blushed hot. Adam was clearly upset by the day’s events. His teasing was abrasive not playful like last night. “I wasn’t insinuating . . . look, I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I was way out of line last night. I see why you thought . . .” 

Adam licked his lips. “Take it easy. This isn’t a test. It’s been a shitty day, and I’ve had too much to drink. Come on, sit down. I’ll be nice.” Ben couldn’t escape Adam’s gaze. It was like a tractor beam beckoning him forward. He perched tentatively near the opposite arm. Adam jiggled the ice. “You wanna drink?”

“No thanks.”

Adam poured himself another. “So, six months, huh? With the typical turnaround rate, that should give you some kind of seniority, right? How old are you?”

“Does it matter?”

Adam sized him up. “I bet I’ve got ten years on you.”

“No you don’t.” Ben had checked his boss’s file, yet another breech of protocol. Details like that didn’t get lost on Adam Lambert. Ben proceeded cautiously. He had been stupid to put Adam in such an awkward situation last night. They had been talking lightheartedly about negotiating the conditions of his employment and as friendly as it was, the very mention of a gay bar could be considered a threat for blackmail. Time to back off, Ben. “Eight and a half is all.”

“Oh, well, excuse me. Boy is calling me a liar for eighteen months. You’re definitely in the right line of work.”

“I like my job. I don’t want to lose my job.”

“What are you talking about? Who says you’re losing your job?”

“There’s a rumor in the office that they’re going to shuffle some assignments maybe even sanction a few layoffs.” 

Adam pursed his lips thoughtfully. “It’s not as bad as you think, and I get some say in the matter.” 

“I know I overstep my bounds sometimes. I thought maybe you were considering letting me go.”

“Overstep your bounds?”

“You know what I mean. That party was . . .”

Adam held up his hand for Ben to stop right there. “Wait a minute. What kind of man do you think I am?” Adam rested his head again. He tugged at the crotch of his pants then lay motionless for a few moments.

“I’ll call you a cab?”

“Don’t do that. I’m gonna sleep it off.” Adam removed his shoes.

“Here? Alone?”

“I like being here . . . alone. It’s better than going home to an empty apartment.” Adam swung his feet up and behind Ben, settling in. Now they were facing each other and touching. Ben wanted to get up, but he had the feeling he’d better wait to be dismissed. He was still under examination.

“You said you had a studio apartment, right?”

“Yes.”

“What do you do there? I mean how do you pass the time?”

Ben looked at his watch. “Well, given that it’s after midnight, I’m not there very often.”

“But when you are? What do you do?”

“I don’t know . . . get take out and rent a movie or something. I’m boring.”

“I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

“I feel like I’m being interviewed.”

“I’m just trying to figure out why you’re still here. I’m arrogant and demanding, and stupidly impulsive. I think you know what I think of you, so I can’t help but wonder if you’re playing me for some kind of advancement.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that complicated.”

“It doesn’t?” 

“I wanted to make a good impression.”

“You did.”

“I wanted to learn from you.”

“You have. So what’s left for you here? Step it up. Move forward. Weren’t those your words?”

“I’m exactly where I want to be. I know what I’m doing.”

“I wish I did.” 

“I think you’re here for the same reasons I am.” 

“So here we are . . . the mutual admiration society, population us.”

“It’s obvious that you’ve got a lot more to offer me than I have to offer you.”

“That’s not true. You’re not listening to me.” Adam paused, weary of conflict in any form. “Why do I have to keep saying this? You’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Adam put his hand on Ben’s knee then took it away again. “You’re focused and ballsy . . . and I like that.” Adam took a deep breath. “I like YOU . . . and that’s the one single thing in my life right now I don’t have to work at.” Ben didn’t know what to say. Adam closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to explain himself any further. Ben sat in silence except for the beating of his own heart. Soon Adam was motionless, a relaxed state of slumber. 

Ben whispered, “I like you too.”

He slipped off the couch carefully so not to jostle the glass balanced on Adam’s stomach. He took it away and put it on the side table. Ben studied Adam’s sleeping form . . . the way his chest gently rose and fell inside his open shirt, the slightest fan of crow’s feet above his cheek bones, the way his generous lips parted. If Ben kissed those lips, would Adam kiss back? If Adam awoke in a rage, then at least Ben could finally go away so he wouldn’t be put through the torture of 12 hour days in the company of this stunning and powerful man who was way out of his league. If only he could touch him . . . but Ben’s practical side took over. He pulled off his jacket and spread it under Adam’s chin. As he turned to go, Adam took his hand. Ben was startled, but Adam’s eyes were so sorrowful, he didn’t jerk away. “I’m not asleep. You don’t have to stay, I just . . . I never apologized for how I acted. The party was . . . you were so . . . and I just . . .”

Ben silenced him with a kiss, and they both sort of melted. Ben positioned himself on his knees on the floor beside the couch. Adam’s voice was breathy. “I’m too drunk to be any good for you.” 

“Shhhhhh. Just let me.” Adam’s mouth was bittersweet, the perfect combination of textures . . . smooth lips, rough chin -- deliciously masculine. Ben trailed kisses down beneath Adam’s collar . . . down and down. He could feel the rush of Adam’s breath at the back of his head as he flicked a nipple with his tongue. Adam watched as Ben worked his hand inside Adam’s fly. He released a string of whispered profanities like poetry. Adam applied a gentle but deliberate pressure to the back of Ben’s head, easing him even further down his body. Adam settled into a rhythm of soft whimpers in tandem with the steady bounce of his hips while Ben skillfully licked, sucked, and tugged every inch of his velvety skin. He reached between Ben’s legs from behind and pushed the fabric of his pants deep into the crack of his ass. Adam flexed his thumb putting exquisite, unyielding pressure over Ben’s hole. Wriggling only increased the friction. If Ben wasn’t so focused on stealing breaths around the head of Adam’s cock, he might have been embarrassed by the vulgar rolling of his hips as he fucked into Adam’s hand. 

“AH . . . nnnnngah!” Adam came hot and thick into Ben’s mouth. He turned Ben around and pulled him by the shoulders up close. He smothered Ben with hot, sloppy kisses until Ben was moaning for release. Adam fell backward and ripped the remaining buttons off his shirt completely exposing himself from neck to crotch. His stark nakedness was achingly beautiful. “Do it.” Adam’s body writhed practically thrumming under the current of raw sex. “Come on. Get up . . . do it.” Ben was shaking. He stood and unzipped. He knelt on the edge of the cushion just barely above Adam’s body and stroked himself, hissing through clenched teeth until he called out and dotted Adam’s freckled skin. Adam smeared the glistening pearls across his stomach. Ben grabbed the back of the couch to keep from collapsing. Adam pulled him loosely into his arms with passionate exhaustion, expelling tremulous puffs of breath across Ben’s cheek. Ben lay there as long as he could, his face pressed into Adam’s crumpled shirt.

When Ben finally stirred, Adam’s arm fell lazily away. He was asleep, this time for real. Ben refastened Adam’s clothes as best he could then covered him with the jacket again. Next he took off his watch, set an alarm, and put it on Adam’s wrist. He backed slowly out of the room, then hit the light and pulled the door closed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Ben got to the office the next day, he noticed right away that his jacket was carefully draped across the back of his chair. In spite of the gesture, Ben didn’t think he was being overly dramatic by packing a few things into a box. It was THE box all the paralegals had under their desks, ready just in case a pink slip appeared with their name on it. The paranoia had everyone on edge.

Ben hoped he could avoid Adam today. So far that wasn’t a problem because he and two other Assistant DA’s had been in the DA’s office all morning. Secretaries went in and out with pots of coffee. Ms. Dreyfus appeared to be doing most of the talking. Adam told Ben he had some say in the matter of support staff. He also said he couldn’t do without him, but now if Ben did hold his position, it would be practically impossible to go back to being merely professional. Ben put his head in his hands, stupid stupid rookie mistake. It wasn’t the first time, Ben had let his emotions lead him astray.

When Adam finally stepped off the elevator, he stopped at Janie’s desk. “Janie, please have Ben come to my office.”

“Right away, Mr. Lambert.”

Ben cringed. When Janie buzzed for him, everyone nearby jumped. Today must be the day the cutbacks began. They all gave Ben a look like he was a dead man walking. Ben optimistically took a pad of paper like he would normally do. He tapped at the door.

“Come in.” Adam was sitting at his desk with his forehead in his hand. Ben noticed an open bottle of aspirin on the blotter. Ben waited until Adam looked up. When he did, his face was pale and impossible to read. “Sit down, Ben.” Ben took a deep breath and eased into a chair. Whatever it was, it was already done . . . nothing to do about it now. Adam appeared to be waiting for Ben to start. Ben had so many questions on his mind, but he didn’t want the answer to any of them. After a moment, Adam leaned back and looked out the window. “There’s two things.” He gave Ben a contemplative look. He got up and came around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. “Maybe three things.”

“I’m listening.”

“Claudia . . . Ms. Dreyfus, just gave me a really big case.” 

Ben brightened for news he wasn’t expecting. “What’s the story?”

“Rape. High profile given the current political climate. It’ll pull some media attention. Jury selection starts tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?! Motion to delay?”

“Already been postponed twice. It was Donovan’s, but wonderboy took too big a bite. The victim, Miss Landry, deserves closure. I really want to get this guy. I need a case like this, and besides by taking it late notice, the Dragon Lady will owe me.” Adam’s color was coming back. “You in?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I want you on this. What do you say?”

“That’s three late nights in a row.”

“About that . . .”

“Wait. It was just an observation, not a complaint. Of course, I’m in.”

“Good.”

“So that’s one thing. You said there was more.”

“This . . .” Adam reached into his pocket. “This, I believe is yours.”

Adam held Ben’s watch. Ben stood up and reached for it. Adam didn’t give it to him. Instead he took Ben’s wrist and fastened the clasp himself. Adam kept hold of Ben’s hand. “You know . . . after the party last year, I just hoped it would go away. I mean, it’s common sense, right? Don’t mix business with pleasure.” Ben could only nod in agreement. “You must have thought I was a real asshole.”

“It crossed my mind.”

Adam chuckled and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t do this. I want you to know that I don’t do this at work. That’s why I stopped and pushed you away. Either way, you were bound to think less of me.”

“You weren’t worried about that last night.”

Adam lowered his head and let go of Ben’s hand. He stared at his lap. “You waited for me. I saw you out there, asleep at your desk, and it got me. I forgot what it felt like . . . for someone to wait up. It’s just so complicated right now. The timing is terrible, and I . . .”

Ben lifted Adam’s chin and whispered. “I can wait a little longer.” He kissed him so tenderly, it made Adam sigh as if he were sinking into a luxurious bath. Ben took Adam’s head in his hands and kissed him more deeply. Adam’s arms went around his waist. Ben wedged himself between Adam’s legs pressing him firmly against the desk. Adam ground in a little and moaned. He clutched at Ben’s collar and buried his face in Ben’s neck.

“If it wasn’t for this case, I’d . . .”

Ben took a step backward. “It’s okay. You’re right. It’s important that we focus.”

Adam wasn’t ready to be practical just yet, and he pulled Ben back into his arms. “It’s going to be another all-nighter. I hope your stamina’s good.”

“You’re awfully confident for an old guy, ten years my senior.”

“Eight and a half, college boy, and my stamina’s just fine.”

“I’m going to make you prove it.”

Adam rolled his hips. “Plenty of hard evidence, right here.”

“So you’re going to use cock intimidation again?”

“Like I said, it’s high profile . . . not an easy win. I was thinking of upping my game.”

“Oh really? How could you possibly manage that?”

Adam grinned. “How about assless chaps for closing arguments?”

Ben laughed outright. “You wanna be held in contempt?”

“I just wanna be held . . . period.” And they were kissing again, simple lips as tender as boyfriends reunited, a familiarity unexpected for a fresh affair. Ben felt as if he was slipping in and out of time, glimmers of a memory that had yet to occur . . . morning sex and Sunday brunch in bed. Ben could see it as clearly as if it had happened already. It was unsettling, too personal. Somehow Adam had gotten in, deep inside him without taking the necessary precautions that usually establish compatibility and trust. How careless of him to have left the door wide open like that. Janie buzzed the speaker. Adam patted Ben to move off and hit the receiver button. “Yeah.”

“Mr. Lambert, you wanted me to let you know when Mr. Donovan called.”

“Yes, thank you, Janie. Ben, I need you to go to Donovan’s office. His secretary is putting the case files together for us, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a mess. If you’d sort it all out, we can meet back in a couple hours and . . . get busy.” Adam winked.

Ben rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but find Adam’s stupid jokes charming. Ben left Adam’s office feigning a smile. As the afternoon progressed, he grew more despondent. The case itself was dark and depressing, but Ben was good at keeping his personal feelings out of it. He focused not on the crime itself but on retribution. It wasn’t the case that was bothering him. His mind kept going back to Adam’s office. Ben was so relieved he wasn’t getting fired, he may have celebrated a little too early. Adam said there were three things. He only revealed two before Ben stepped right back into Adam’s arms. He hated himself for his continued suspicions, but the waiter at the Cosmos had been quite confident. Even though, his words echoed in Ben’s memory, (He’s a user, kid), Ben refused to dwell on it. Adam Lambert was one of the good guys. He just had to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Thankfully, Donovan’s secretary had been too embarrassed to hand over the Landry case files as is. She helped Ben put things in order. He and Adam got prepared much more swiftly than they anticipated. Adam was practically vibrating with anticipation. He wanted to win this one very badly. The alleged rapist was an athlete at UCLA. He had a full ride in spite of the fact that his father was a wealthy and well-respected figure in local government. The man could afford a top-of-the-line lawyer not only to represent his son but also to defend his reputation as a trusted leader in the community. Adam already hated them. He gave himself the pleasure of unrestricted bias against the jock and the politician. He had bad experiences with the likes of both. The victim, on the other hand, was an undergrad majoring in music, voice and piano. Adam already felt connected. Ideally, he would have met with her personally by this stage in the game, but as it was, all he had was a brief history and a transcript of her testimony.

“So, Ben . . . what can we learn from our client, Miss Landry's testimony besides what happened to her?”

Ben looked over the document again. “She’s smart.”

“And calm. She’s so damn calm. That’s going to work in our favor up to a point.”

“If she’s too cool, the jury will see her as some kind of ice queen.”

“Which is right next door to conniving bitch.” Adam thought for a moment. “Show me the juror pool again. I want to exclude housewives for now. Put professional, career women at the top. Next, give me fathers and minorities. She isn’t by chance a woman of color, interracial or . . .”

“Nope, classifies herself Caucasian . . . non-denominational Protestant. Looks like family of moderate income. Raised by a single mom, a GP but yikes . . . must be low income clientele with that salary.”

“How did she afford to go to college, then? Dad? Scholarship?”

“Yep, scholarship paid for some of it, but whoa . . . hold it. Dad’s dead.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yep, she went to school mostly on a trust fund tied to his life insurance policy.”

Adam folded his hands. “So that’s it, then.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a cheap shot, but when the time comes . . . that’s how I’ll make her cry. When I’m done they’re going to want to hang GQ from his nuts.”

Ben made a face. “Owwuch! Remind me not to make you angry.”

“Just don’t ever tell me, no.” Adam’s eyes were steady, challenging.

“Then make me an offer I can’t refuse.”

Adam softened slightly. “How bout I take you out to dinner?”

“I don’t know. I get a full belly, and I’ll be done for.”

“And already he’s tellin’ me, no.”

“No. I mean NOT no . . . just, I get sleepy after.”

“After what?”

“After a meal.”

“Well, I think we can stop for the night. There is such a thing as over-preparing.”

“Over-thinking it?”

“Exactly . . . I’d rather just follow my instincts.”

“Are we still talking about the case?”

“What case?”

Ben laughed. “I could eat.”

“What are you hungry for?”

“Meat.”

Adam’s grin broadened. “So, the boy wants a thick, juicy steak, does he?”

“My mouth is already watering.”

“It’s always the shy ones . . . insatiable.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben hadn’t realized how ravenous he was until his plate arrived . . . porterhouse, rare . . . baked potato, loaded. Adam got a salmon filet and ate only half of it. He finished off the bottle of white by himself. Ben had a couple beers. They talked about current events mostly, but toward the end of the meal, they had run out of conveniently impersonal topics. Adam sat back and admired the young man’s appetite. He was staring. 

Ben felt self-conscious. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m wondering if this counts as our first date.”

“Are we . . . dating?” By the look on Adam’s face, Ben sounded doubtful instead of hopeful. The old demons were returning. Relationships were those shadowy places where Ben felt vulnerable. Adam was moving too fast.

“I’m not trying to rush things. Maybe I misunderstood. I thought we were starting something.”

“What about the whole business and pleasure rule? You said you don’t do this at work.”

“I fucking LIVE at work. You think I should limit my social interaction within the confines of the Cosmos?”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just that the Cosmos is . . . safe.”

“Keeping my private life private doesn’t mean I’m hiding. I’ve been out since I was eighteen, for Christ’s sake. I’m just not public about it. What am I supposed to do? Ride around with a bumper sticker - Honk if You Like Fags!?” 

In an effort to protect himself, Ben had unintentionally put Adam on the defensive. “Look, you’ve got a lot to think about, a lot riding on the line. Public image is everything. I know that. I respect that. You know that between the two of us, you’re taking a greater risk. Why would you compromise your career over a piece of ass?”

“Is that how you see yourself?”

“It’s just a figure of speech. I’m a realist is all. I leave the inflated egos to real lawyers.”

“Oh, so that’s how you see ME, then?”

Ben was only digging himself deeper. “Having an ego doesn’t mean you’re conceited, not to me anyway. You have superior confidence is all. That’s what makes you great.” Adam still looked stung. Ben continued. “In the courtroom you have no equal. You walk up to the bench or the jury box and you own them even before you open your mouth. You get what you want. It’s a . . . presence. It’s like a seduction.”

“Oh, well that’s better. I’m only a manipulative letch, then. I lure innocent victims into my lair.”

“I’m talking about the courtroom.”

“I’m not! That’s just a cover, Ben. We’ve been talking about us . . . whatever US is, this whole time.” 

“I’m not going to be your victim, Adam. You can’t tell me what our . . . this thing we have is going to be, and set all the rules and parameters by yourself.” 

“Jesus, you’re still negotiating. You ever consider labor law?”

“I’m not kidding. Adam, you’re my boss, and you’re older than me, but you don’t have an advantage over me. I was not tricked or entrapped.”

“Meaning?” 

“Meaning, I sucked your cock because I wanted to suck your cock.” 

At this point the waiter stumbled into their conversation with a dessert menu. He heard what Ben said and looked between the two of them. “I got nothin’ that good, guys. But, the triple chocolate cake is really close.” Ben glowered at him. “I’m gonna leave it here in case you change your mind.”

Adam was polite. “Just the check please.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they stopped in front of Ben’s building, Ben invited Adam to come up.

“We’ve got an early day tomorrow. I think I’d better pass . . . rain check, though. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ben pulled the door latch.

“Ben, wait.” Ben settled back in the seat. “What exactly did I say last night? I remember vividly what we did, but . . . I hope I didn’t say something stupid.”

Last night, Adam had apologized for how he acted in the file closet. He said he didn’t know what he’d do without Ben. He said he wouldn’t be any good for him. “You said you liked me.” 

“That’s it?”

Ben nodded. “I said I like you back. That’s all.”

“Does that mean we’re going steady now?”

Ben huffed sarcastically. “It definitely felt like a commitment at the time.”

“Well, don’t worry. It won’t hold up in court.” Adam tried to smile.

“Right, right . . . incompetence under the influence of a controlled substance.”

“I was thinking more like temporary insanity.”

Ben had had enough evasion. He crossed the console, and Adam met him half way. Their mouths crushed together again and again, a series of lip-smacking pops like magnets pulling apart and reconnecting. Their hands were rough and invasive, a mutual mugging . . . desperate thieves who had both suffered alone too long not to take their share. Honestly, who was seducing whom? This was the third time Ben had taken the initiative. He finally understood that if they were going to get anywhere, it would be Ben’s call. “So this is insanity?”

“Total madness.” 

“I won’t let you get off that easy.”

“Oh, honey, I think you’ll get me off just fine.”

Ben fell back into his seat and tried to straighten his clothes before he climbed out. “I want to know how it goes tomorrow. You could fill me in later. I care a lot about this one.”

“I want you to go with me.”

“Go with you? Really?”

“Really. You know the jury pool, and I could use your eyes. You’ll see things I might miss in the Q & A . . . body language, attitudes. It’s going to be practically impossible to get twelve the defense and I will agree on. I need a card up my sleeve. Can you do that?” Adam immediately corrected himself. “I mean, WILL you do that for me?”

“Yes. I didn’t want to assume, but . . .”

Adam looked sorrowful again. “Ben,” he touched Ben’s face. “Don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you want.”

“Was that the third thing?”

“The third thing?” Adam was evasive. He took his hand away.

“This afternoon, when you called me into your office, you said you had three things to tell me.”

“That’s right, I did.” Adam sighed. “No, it isn’t the third thing, but it can wait. Will you wait a little longer? There will be a right time. I need you to trust me.”

“I do.” As Adam left, Ben got a knot in his stomach. It was too late. He was falling in love no matter what, and for some inexplicable reason it felt terrible.


	4. Chapter 4

Jury selection was as brutal as Adam had anticipated. They had thinned the herd significantly, but the opposing sides hadn’t agreed on any of the candidates in a little over an hour. The defense attorney was smugly refusing viable, neutral options because she (yes, SHE // how strategic of Mr. Political) knew this particular pool leaned in her favor. Adam had become equally unyielding. They knew each other indirectly and exchanged polite courtesies sizing each other up without personal confrontation, but tension was building. One of them was going to have to flinch at some point or they’d remain at a standstill well into the evening. The dynamic of the entire trial would be determined right now before Adam called his first witness.

They began this session with the judge granting exceptions . . . women in their third trimester, single income fathers, those with pending surgeries, immobile seniors. There were dozens this time. Adam marveled at the sheer number of exclusions and wondered if something under the table had been arranged by Mr. Political. The judge took extra care to prepare those who remained for the rigors of this trial. It would be difficult to stay objective. The attorneys had their turns asking a potpourri of questions geared specifically to reveal morals, attitudes, and sympathies. It was a laborious process. They were well into the pool but the prosecution and defense had agreed on only five. Adam was hoping he could be the one to help move things along in order to appear more cooperative to the judge. But so far, Adam couldn’t budge. If all of the defense’s choices got through, Adam’s client wouldn’t have a prayer.

Adam and Ben were connected throughout this process. They learned to read each other’s signals. Ben was truly helpful even if all he could offer was an understanding roll of the eyes as if to say ‘I know, right? What the fuck?’ Sometimes he nodded at Adam when he wasn’t sure he should keep going. Adam sometimes consulted with Ben in sidebar. They spoke behind a file folder in secret. Adam would lament how desperately he needed a drink. Ben suggested suicidal cocktails he personally knew how to make. Adam told Ben he was going to lose this case, and Ben dismissed his doubts with two words . . . assless chaps. It was the diversion Adam needed to step out of his head and start again, fresh. 

They were in recess, and Adam was once again pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “I don’t like our choices, Ben. Dammit, we need one more. Who’s next?”  


Ben rubbed his jaw, a habit he’d picked up from Adam. “Number 26 is coming up. Check him out.” He nodded toward the chair where 26 sat.

Adam blinked with doubt. “The guy with the plaid shirt?”

“He’s been concentrating. I mean, every single word. He wants this.”

“Let me see his file.” Ben slid the paper over. “He’s 57 years old, married 32 years, registered Republican. What the fuck, Ben?”

“Trust me. There’s something about him. He can’t take his eyes off you.”

“Really?” Adam looked at the man again.

Ben spoke even more softly than before. “I think he’s in the closet.” 

Adam frowned skeptically. “No way.”

Ben shrugged. “See for yourself. It’s worth a shot.” 

When #26 was called to question, Adam knew in seconds that Ben was right. The man’s eyes were deep brown and heavily lashed. He was the kind of man others said had good coloring. He looked younger than he was. He was fit but not slim . . . medium height. He dressed casually in jeans. This was probably his good flannel shirt. He obviously took pride in his grooming, close-cropped hair and clean nails. He was fidgeting nervously so Adam asked him as a preliminary precaution how he was doing today.

“Fine, fine.”

“Myself, I could do without the rain.”

The man seemed almost apologetic. “It’s good for the crops, though.”

“Crops? Are you a farmer?” Adam scanned his sheet. He missed that detail.

“I run an organic produce market. We grow our own.”

Adam could not suppress his glee. “Oooooh, I love whole foods! How long have you been doing it?”

“Sixteen years now. I quit my job and started my own business.”

“I admire that. It must keep you busy.”

“It’s a completely different lifestyle.”

Adam let the word ‘lifestyle’ linger in the air. The rest of the room dissolved. It was just the two of them. “You must have lost patience by now having to wait your turn.”

Mr. Fletcher shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“It is interesting isn’t it?”

“Yes, I guess so.”

Adam checked the file again then removed his glasses. “Here we are just talking away, and I haven’t even asked your name. Mr. Fletcher, is it?” Adam smiled THE smile.

The man cleared his throat and straightened up. “Yes, sir.” 

Oh, the ‘SIR’ was killing Adam now. He moved his suit coat aside and put his hand casually on his hip, a variation of the same mannequin pose he had offered Ben to check his junk. He studied Mr. Fletcher long enough to notice the man glance down Adam’s body, two slow seconds (one Mississippi, two Mississippi). “You know, you remind me of somebody.” 

Mr. Fletcher gulped. “I’m sure we’ve never met.”

“You’ve just got one of those faces, right?”

The man smiled faintly. “So my wife tells me.”

Adam gave the guy a break and proceeded with a series of personal inquiries. They were getting along famously given the circumstances. At one point Adam turned away from Mr. Fletcher and winked at Ben. Mr. Fletcher gave Adam very conservative answers to questions about ‘legitimate rape’ and female roles, but Adam could tell it was just a generational thing. He could school the man on modern culture. When he asked him about civil rights in general, Fletcher skirted the issue as if it were irrelevant. 

“Let me put it another way. Do you feel that everyone . . . absolutely everyone has a right to be heard before they are judged?” It sounded like Adam was making a case for the defense, but he and Mr. Fletcher knew what Adam meant. 

“Yes.” Adam waited for the man to look him in the face. When he did, Mr. Fletcher surrendered. “Yes, I do . . . very much.”

For a moment, Adam’s eyes were only for him. “Thank you, Mr. Fletcher.”

Adam shocked the judge when he said he had no objections to this juror. The opposing council jumped in agreement then snorted from her desk as if she believed Adam had caved. Evidently Mr. Fletcher couldn’t believe it either. Adam had already turned away, but Ben saw the man blossom with gratitude. 

Ben leaned over. “You are a shameless flirt.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Damn right . . . you let that guy feel you up, twice.”

“Had to summon my slutty undergrad days . . . too much?”

“What do you think?” Ben gestured with his head for Adam to take a look at Fletcher seated in the box over his shoulder. The man was relaxed and practically glowing. “He needs a fuckin’ cigarette.”

They had him. Adam knew him, accepted him . . . chose him. Mr. Fletcher would believe anything Adam said. “Good eye, Ben. I told you I couldn’t do without you.”

The rest of the afternoon sped by. The defense was much more willing to accept ‘neutral’ options as well as a couple of outright humanitarians. Adam managed to keep a stony face, but he was less successful masking his feelings for Ben. His body simply would not cooperate, occasionally forcing him to shift in his seat. When the defense attorney had the floor, Adam would direct Ben’s attention to an apparently urgent message. Ben would look, but Adam had written something lewd on it. They’d consult behind the file folder some more. 

“What is that?”

“What?”

“Do you smell that?”

“No, I don’t smell anything.”

“I smell sex and candy.”

Ben smirked. Really, Adam’s humor was so stupid. For a man who won court cases before they ever began, Adam was like a dorky teen about sex.

The judge read the jurors their duties and thanked them for their cooperation today and in advance for the days to come. It was Friday, so court would reconvene on Monday with opening statements. When the judge dismissed them with his gavel, Adam squeezed Ben’s knee. He put his hand at the small of Ben’s back as they made their way out of the crowded building. He helped Ben into the cab as they headed back to the office. They sat so close on the seat, their hands almost touched. Adam would sometimes catch his breath as if he were going to say something to Ben, but when Ben looked at him, Adam would just smile and shrug it off.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

Because it was Friday, their office building was swarming with people in a hurry to start their weekends as soon as possible. Somebody up front held the elevator door for two more. Adam and Ben were in a back corner. It was tight. Ben stepped backward to make more space and bumped into Adam behind him. He made to move forward again, but Adam held him steady by the hip. There were three different conversations going on in that tiny space. A group of men were talking too loudly having returned from a martini lunch that ended just in time for dinner. Everyone was averting their eyes to the lit numbers hoping the drunks got off before double digits. Ben tentatively put his hand over Adam’s and laced his fingers in between. The elevator stopped with a ping, but only one person got off. The couple closest to them was discussing someone’s retirement party. A woman was checking emails on her phone. Adam shifted his feet and pulled Ben further back until the curve of his ass was positioned astride Adam’s fly. Ben made a little noise. With the slightest flex of his toes he pushed back. Adam’s grip tightened. With another ping, the elevator jerked to a halt. The jostling made Adam cough. The rowdy drunks got off, but two more got on. One of the guys looked at them funny, and Ben casually moved off. He leaned against the adjacent side. Adam put his attaché case in front of himself, and watched the lighted numbers rise. They were next. Adam cleared his throat.

“You know, as soon as we get back to the office, I need to see those briefs.”

Ben could play this game. “Of course, I’ll drop everything.”

They were speed walking down the hall. They both stopped in their tracks when they saw lights still on. Surely everyone had gone by now, it was Friday. But no . . . loyal, ever-ready Janie was at her desk. 

“Hey, Janie.”

“Oh, hello Mr. Lambert . . . Ben. How did it go today?”

“Very well, thank you.”

“Oh good, good. Will that be all then?”

“Yes, that’s all. Why don’t you go ahead, take off. You’ve earned it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and close up?”

“No, no that won’t be necessary. We have some things to finish first.” 

“Well, all right then. Thank you, Mr. Lambert . . . Ben. Have a good weekend.” 

“You too, Janie.” Janie smiled and went on her way.

Ben backed down the hallway. Adam reached past him to throw open the door to his office. Once inside, Adam shoved Ben into the wall. He stole what was left of Ben’s breath with a sharp inhale. They kicked off their shoes, flung off their jackets, and nearly throttled each other pulling off their ties. They ricocheted off the furniture and spun toward the desk. In an effort to spare their buttons, they fumbled impatiently. When Adam’s shirt-tails were free, he helped Ben slip his shirt over his head. Adam admired Ben’s smooth chest with the tips of his fingers. Ben caressed Adam’s broad shoulders. Adam opened Ben’s mouth with his thumb. Ben relaxed his jaw for the deep, probing kiss. When their bare tummies touched, Adam seemed to absorb him. Ben could feel Adam’s arms bending him at the waist. His belt buckle dug into Ben’s belly button. He squirmed and rubbed against Adam’s erection. 

“Huh-uh . . . my turn.” Adam roughly unfastened Ben’s fly and scooped inside his pants with a skilled hand. Ben gasped and leaned in to kiss again, but Adam moved his face away. “I want to watch you.” He changed the location and pressure of his fingers, and Ben blinked hard. He grabbed Adam’s wrist, but Adam did not relent. Ben was wet . . . slick. He needed to be naked or underwater or fucked. 

“Ah, Adam.” Ben bent backward over the desk, and Adam pushed a finger inside Ben’s body. Ben thunked his head against the hardwood. He was barely balanced on his tip toes. Adam loomed above him. Ben grabbed his open shirt, and Adam went willingly this time. When their lips touched, Ben’s kiss was loose and breathy. All sensation sank low with his blood flow. Adam put his broad hand across Ben’s chest. Ben closed his eyes, and centered himself under the pressure. Suddenly, Adam’s mouth was on him. Ben bucked up, but Adam held him firm. He could surrender to the pleasure so swiftly, but no . . . not yet. This man, right here, right now was the person he had spent long days and nights for the past six months . . . more than he had with friends or family. Even the time alone was filled with thoughts of Adam. So he fell in love, so what? His mind went fast forward. He could leave his tiny apartment. They could commute to work together and put the bad guys behind bars.

“Adam. Adam, stop. I’m gonna come.”

Adam licked his lips and smiled the sexiest, curviest self-satisfied smile Ben had ever seen. “That’s the idea.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I don’t want to come like this.” 

Adam straightened up. “What’s wrong?”

Ben sat up and nuzzled under Adam’s chin. “Nothing.” He kissed and nibbled Adam’s neck. 

“Ben?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Hey . . . wait a minute.” Ben wasn’t waiting. He tugged so hard at Adam’s pants he made the man trip forward. “Ben, I . . .” Adam’s words broke into pieces and floated away. Ben had Adam’s cock, hot and thick, in his hand. 

“Please, just take me.” Ben’s mouth was red and swollen. His skin was marked from Adam’s touch. His entire body was supple, warm and wanting. Adam had no resistance. He opened a drawer for his stash. Ben watched him. Adam’s mouth was set firm, serious. He turned Ben roughly around and pushed him over. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Adam’s voice was ragged.

Ben’s knees were shaking. “Yes, yes . . . pleeeeease.”

Adam yanked Ben’s pants to his thighs. Ben sensed cold and wet then searing hot. He called out. His hands skidded across the top of the desk until he grabbed the opposite side. He bore back keeping his junk from slamming into the lap drawer. It was Adam’s turn to shout. He went deeper in. Neither one of them had any control and succumbed to a clumsy rutting in this rather austere environment. When Ben didn’t think he could take anymore, there was still so much more, and it was impossibly good. Adam groaned and changed position. He pulled Ben backward and wrapped his arm around Ben’s chest. Ben steadied himself with one hand on the desk, the other behind him grasping at Adam’s ass. He leaned his head back against Adam’s shoulder. Adam huffed against Ben’s neck and practically lifted him off the floor with each thrust. When Ben whimpered, he reached around and stroked Ben off. Ben erupted suddenly, dripping over Adam’s fingers. Spent and broken he became a rag doll in Adam’s arms. Their pants had slipped to the floor shackling them in one place. Adam shuffled backward only a step and fell against the bookcase. Several volumes of law tumbled over. The shelves bit into Adam’s back as he held Ben’s limp body by the waist. Their thighs slapped together punctuating the rising crescendo of Adam’s grunts peaking in a choked guttural roar. Ben slumped forward. Adam rested his forehead between Ben’s shoulder blades, desperately re-filling his lungs.

Adam whispered. “Are you okay?”

Ben realized he was actually standing on Adam’s feet. He stepped down as Adam pulled out. Ben winced. “Ahhnnn.”

“I’m sorry.” Adam discarded the condom. They both picked up their pants and wandered to opposite walls in the room. Adam stood at the window where the sky, on the verge of twilight, turned dim. Ben was acutely aware something was wrong . . . something very wrong. Adam combed his fingers through his hair. Ben bit his lip unable to put his thoughts together. The silence bred a deeper and deeper disappointment. This was regret.

“Adam?”

“You’d probably better get dressed. You’re shivering.”

Ben hadn’t noticed he shuddered until his teeth started to chatter. His limbs were uncooperative at first, unable to follow the simplest commands. Ben gathered his clothes with difficulty. Of course . . . get dressed. That was the practical thing to do . . . right away. Ben’s eyes darted around the room. Adam buttoned his shirt and checked his messages. He checked his fucking messages! What happened? Ben wanted to run away.

So that was it? It couldn’t be. “Adam?” Ben’s voice was dry and thready.

“I really should return a couple of these calls.” Adam was suddenly in a rush. “Here, take this for cab fare.” Adam fished a fifty out of his wallet and held it between his fingers.

Ben stared. Money? Really? There was a buzzing sensation under his skin that felt a lot like rage, but his voice remained steady and calm . . . normal. “No. I’m fine.” All he could think was that words are stupid. Fine . . . fine. Fine meant okay. It meant ready. It meant prepared. It meant fulfilled, satisfied, resolved. That’s fine . . . fine. It meant none of those things at all. Fine was what people said when they were too numb to know their heart. Fine was like crystal and sand. Each could become the other after a good pounding. He left. Adam spoke to the hall, said he’d call him tomorrow. Ben didn’t bother to turn around. “No you won’t.”


	5. Chapter 5

When Ben got home, he immediately took a shower. He dressed in sleep pants and a tank-style undershirt. He picked up his laundry and was overpowered at once by the smell of Adam on his clothes. He wadded them fitfully and tossed them into the hamper. Ben turned on the stereo hoping he could rattle the rubble of this disaster out of his head by decibels. When the neighbors got home they encouraged him to reconsider his decision to canon blast the holy hell out of the dry wall before they called the super. He put on headphones and clicked his ‘fuck YOU’ playlist. He drank and drank some more. He didn’t want to think, but even though his emotions were dulled by 80 proof, one shot at a time, the mystery remained. What the fuck happened? The entire day had been kind of stupidly, almost recklessly romantic, but something went wrong when they got to the office. Did he say something? Adam did the talking. He had told Janie, ‘There’s something we have to finish.’ Finish. So that was it, then. It was over. Sixth months of foreplay then finally, FINALLY way, way out there, beyond the extremity of bliss, surreal, supernatural sex. Six months invested in his new career traded for a one-off with his boss. Congratulations, Ben, you just won the humiliation of the year award.

Ben didn’t eat. He fell asleep on the couch with the flicker of light from his TV. He awoke abruptly in a panic like he’d missed an important meeting. Ben cringed knowing he was supposed to help Adam with the rape case on Monday. That was not going to happen now. He would have to call in. Maybe he could get in touch with Janie, and she could make the necessary adjustments. She could ask Ms. Dreyfus if he could be reassigned to a different attorney. Adam wouldn’t fight it. It was only Saturday. He had time to figure it out if only he could clear his head. He couldn’t do this alone. Ben went for his phone to check his contacts for a voice of reason. Evidently he hadn’t taken it off silent since the courtroom. Adam had blown up his messages. There were also a half dozen voicemails, two of which were left after midnight. Ben read the texts in sequence. They were a series of apologies asking Ben to hear him out, explaining that they had to talk, imploring Ben to call him. Ben tapped the voicemails. Hearing Adam’s voice made him close his eyes. 

The first one told Ben to pick up, then with a heavy sigh . . . okay, I’ll try again later. 

Then, Are you there? Come on . . . just call me . . . please. 

The next one was dead air. 

The next one, just one word . . . Ben? 

The last one was late . . . really, really late. Adam was drunk and hadn’t waited for the end of the greeting, so the message began mid-rant. It was hard to understand. At first, it was all Ben’s fault but by the end, Adam didn’t deserve him. 

Now Ben’s senses were foggier than ever. He made a pot of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar holding his phone. He had second thoughts about including any of his friends in this. What if they encouraged him to reach out . . . to hear Adam out? As much as he was hurting, he wasn’t sure he wanted to fix it. Adam never made him any promises. In Ben’s mind, they were the most intimate of companions, but in reality they were just getting to know one another. Maybe Ben was equally responsible for this fiasco by forcing Adam into his daydream of something permanent. It was never offered so never intended. Hard lesson learned then life went on. A buzzer went off. Ben squeezed his phone, but he knew it wasn’t that. He stood up and stared at the wall by the door. The buzzer went off again and again in rapid, irritable bursts. Ben hustled to the wall mount and swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. The buzzer went off again, long and persistent. His finger hovered over the button, then he let out breath he was holding and pressed it. 

“Ben, it’s me. I’m coming up.”

Ben pinched his eyes shut and released the remote entry lock to the main door a floor down. He leaned with his forehead against his forearm counting the seconds until ready or not, here he comes. The buzzer had been a poor warning for the soft knock at his door. There was no urgency in Adam’s arrival.

Ben checked the peephole out of habit and clenched his teeth. It wasn’t fair for Adam to look this alarmingly beautiful. As Ben opened the door, Adam removed his hand from the frame. He didn’t come in until Ben opened the door wider and stepped aside. Ben had rarely seen Adam in casual street clothes. He wore boots and jeans just snug enough, damn him. His hair was sort of fluffy and had fallen forward without any product to hold it back. He didn’t appear at all professional, unless his job was a billboard model for Ralph Lauren. He wore a t-shirt and light leather jacket. As soon as he was inside Ben’s apartment, Adam cautiously removed his hangover shades. The whole ensemble made him look as if he should be leaning against a vintage sports car rather than occupying Ben’s living room. Ben didn’t want to look fully at Adam’s brooding face so his attention fell on his lips, the part that was still soft and kind, the place where Ben’s future might be revealed. Already he wished he could flash forward. He wanted this incredibly awful NOW to be over with.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry to come here uninvited.”

“My phone . . . I had it off, so I could sleep.”

Adam looked at him skeptically then decided to accept that answer and nodded. “We have to talk.”

“Okay.” Ben crossed his arms.

Adam began his explanation as if he’d rehearsed it. “Claudia left me a message at the office. She wants to put Shannon on the rape case with me.” 

Ben’s lips flattened into a thin line. “Shannon.”

“Yeah, Shannon. Do you know her?"

"Yes. She's good.

"Not as good as you . . . but she has experience in the courtroom, and she’ll be comforting to Miss Landry, I think. The needs of the client come first.”

“Of course . . . a woman’s perspective.”

“That's how the Dragon Lady sees it. So . . .” Adam fidgeted expectantly. “I need the copy of that testimony file. “ Perfect. Business as usual, just like last time and the time before that. Ben went for his bag but said nothing at all. “I’m meeting with Miss Landry this afternoon to prepare her.” Ben handed it over but still didn’t speak. Adam exhaled sharply. “Look, I can still keep you informed about the case, like a debriefing every day.”

“I’ll just ask Shannon.”

“So we’re not speaking now.”

“What’s there to say?”

Adam’s voice was low with control. “It took a lot for me to come over here. I wouldn’t usually have bothered you.”

“So you ‘usually’ give a boy his space, right?”

Adam got frustrated. “I didn’t want this to happen, Ben! I wanted you to be different.”

“I AM different!” Ben shook his head. “I think you’d better just leave.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I want to talk about this.”

“Are you serious? NOW you want to talk? You have got to be kidding me!”

“I had everything planned. We were going to get take out and a movie and go back to my place.”

“So why didn’t we?”

Adam pouted like a petulant child. “You got what you wanted.”

“What happened to me being able to ask for what I want? You said, Ben don’t be afraid to ask for what you want . . . so I did!”

“I thought it might be ALL that you wanted with me.”

“You practically kicked me out of your office!”

“I felt . . . used.”

“YOU felt used?!” 

“Hey, I didn’t want to fuck you across my desk, okay? I told you I don’t do that at work.”

“Right, that explains the drawer full of condoms.”

“That’s not what you think it is. Maybe a couple times, but . . .”

“A couple times? Don’t be so modest. I saw you at the Cosmos, Adam. I saw how many there were.”

“They didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Didn’t anyone hold your interest? There must have been some nice boys. Don’t you ever take the nice ones home?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Adam sighed. “When you feed the strays, they stay.”

“Wow, you really are an asshole aren’t you?”

“It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“Whatever. It was bad idea. This right now is a bad idea. It’s too soon.”

“But, I’m going to be in court all day Monday and the next day and probably the next.”

“You’ll manage. Maybe we should just drop it.”

“I can’t . . . I can’t just drop it. I’m going to call you.”

“If I don’t answer are you going to show up at my apartment and barge in anyway?”

“Yes.”

Ben huffed. “Sure, why not. What do I have to worry about? It’s not like you wanted to fuck me in the first place.”

Adam’s eyes flashed with anger, and he took a step toward Ben. “Not at work, not on my desk . . . in my bed, Ben. I wanted you in my bed, and I still do.” 

Adam’s phone rang. He literally roared with frustration. He looked at the screen to see who it was. “I have to take this.” 

Ben held up his hands in surrender. He wandered into the kitchen leaving Adam alone with his call. He could hear Adam say he had the file and that he would meet them in twenty minutes. Adam shuffled cautiously into the kitchen. When Ben turned around, he offered Adam a cup of coffee which he took gratefully if only for something to hold onto. 

“Ben?”

“Wait . . . wait a minute. I need to know. If you had the whole thing planned, then, why did we go back there to the office at all?”

Adam rubbed his jaw. “I was stupid, selfish. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you. I just wanted to mess around, just a taste.”

“THAT was just messing around?”

“At first it was.”

“Tell me, and be honest. If I hadn’t made the first move, would you have been able to stop?”

“I never ever ever would ever have forced you.”

“No. I mean if I was willing and it was YOUR idea instead of mine, would we be having this conversation?”

Adam shrugged guiltily. He stared at his coffee mug. “So we’re back to me being an asshole, right?”

“I don’t know. I think maybe you’re just way out of my league. There can’t be any sport in it for you.”

“This is not a game. I don’t want to play games anymore.” 

“Then, you have to stop guessing what’s next and where that leaves you. That kind of strategy might work in court, but . . . look, you want my trust, but you don’t have any for me.”

“Once bitten, twice shy. Isn’t that how it goes?”

“It’s not easy for me either, Adam. You’re not the only one who got his heart broken.”

“And it’s happening again, isn’t it?”

Ben thought for a moment before he answered. “It’s not what I want.”

Adam put his hands on his head. “I can’t believe I messed this up so bad. I suck at relationships! God knows I’ve had a lot of men in my life, but there was only one guy I got serious with. Eventually even that was nothing more than a hookup. We met at a party and just kept fucking for three and a half years. By the time we broke up, we were practically strangers. And for the record, just because you worked the Cosmos, it doesn’t mean you’re some piece of ass at a club like those other boys I . . . met. You don’t have any idea how empty the revolving door makes you feel.”

“No . . . not exactly. I had casual acquaintances, I guess. You know, before my boyfriend. We always had potential to build something, but we kept losing ground and settling for less and less. I don’t think we were ever headed in the same direction. I daydreamed with him is all. I daydream too much. I didn’t try hard enough to make it real.”

Adam put down his cup. “Do you daydream about me?”

Ben blushed. This was excruciating. “Yeah, I do.”

“So, us . . . doing it in the office was kind of a fantasy that became reality.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“You made it real.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

“What else do you daydream about?”

“Just stupid stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like . . . I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m taking a walk or watching TV, I imagine what it would be like if you were there. Just day-to-day stuff like . . .”

“Like standing in the kitchen, talking over a cup of coffee.”

Ben smiled. “Yeah, only in my mind, I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Do you think we could make it real? I mean, not the throw up part, but . . .” Ben smiled even broader, and it made Adam smile back. 

“I need time to think about it. It’s been a while, you know?”

“I came on too strong.”

“No, you didn’t. The only thing you did wrong was stop.” Adam met his eyes, and Ben didn’t look away. He had already bared his body, he may as well bare his soul . . . all or nothing. If Adam was freaked out and ran, then so be it. He’s the one who said it was time to stop playing games. Ben noticed something about Adam that wasn’t there before . . . something bright and calm. It might have been hope. It seemed like he was about to speak, so Ben interrupted. He didn’t want for either one of them to ruin this moment. “Adam, you’ve got a meeting to go to.”

Adam jumped. “Shit, I’m going to be late.” He headed for the door in a hurry then turned around. “Ah, I forgot the . . .” Ben was right there with the file in his hand. “See? I told you I couldn’t do without you.” When Adam said it, he looked so uncertain, Ben wanted to comfort him. Without any self-consciousness whatsoever, Ben leaned forward and kissed Adam on the cheek.

“Have a good day.”

“You wait up for me at night, and you kiss me goodbye at the door.”

“Yes, I do.”

“That’s real.”

“Very.”

“I promise I won’t barge in again.”

“If you call, I’ll answer.”

“I’m counting on it.”

“Trust me.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam would learn to trust Ben if only he could learn to trust himself. The challenge of a fragile relationship and a caustic trial might be more than he can handle.

Ben kept busy that Saturday. He went to the market and the laundry mat like he would normally do, but it was hardly the same. It was something vague, something subliminal in the way he projected himself. It was something, a subtle nuance that made him precious in the eyes of the world. He noticed people staring over the produce and smiling beside the folding table. Ben was noticed in settings where he had previously been invisible. He was recognized by those who bothered to look up, recognized as one of the special ones in this world who are adored. 

He wore the aura of his lover like a shawl about his shoulders. He was alone but not lonely. Ben no longer regretted what happened with Adam. It had been largely a misunderstanding. Adam wasn’t rejecting him, he had merely felt a loss of control. The truth was, Ben was so tired of waiting for his life to show up that he was willing to put himself at risk to claim it, and similarly, Adam was tired of taking random chances only to have it fail. They had both survived bad relationships and were experimenting with new roles. When they collided in the office, they overcompensated. Ben was overly aggressive. Adam was too evasive. In reality, they just wanted each other at a level that frightened them both.

When Adam showed up at Ben’s door confused and frustrated, Ben realized he was being unreasonable. He had put Adam in an awkward position from the very beginning. Office romances were trouble. It didn’t take him long to realize he was going to forgive Adam no matter what. Adam was right, of course. Ben was indeed ambitious, but he was unsure if he deserved the brass ring he was reaching for. Who was he kidding? It wasn’t about keeping his job anymore. The job was actually getting in the way of his real goal . . . Adam. Sure, he’d prefer a happy balance, but if Ben had to compromise, he would. If he had to sacrifice his pride, he would. Ben fought it so hard because the truth stung. There was simply no denying the fact that Adam had become a priority. Ben would do anything to have him even if it meant starting his career over at square one.  
When Ben was making a small dinner, his phone vibrated on the counter. He picked it up. Adam had sent him a text. 

– mtg w client went well / she’s a fighter

Ben was trying to figure out how to answer when Adam sent another. 

– shannon is good

Ben couldn’t decide if he should say he was glad or that it’s fine. Ugh, that word again . . . fine. While he argued with himself, the phone vibrated again.

– can I see you

Finally, a text he knew how to answer. – yes

As Ben put down his phone, the wall-mounted buzzer went off. Ben smiled. That was quick. He let Adam in the building then into his apartment. 

“Come on in.”

“Thanks.” Adam stepped into the room and put his hands in his pockets self-consciously. “I didn’t realize you lived so close to court.”

“Yeah, just a couple blocks.”

Adam sighed. “I know how it looks. I mean I ask if I can come over and then I’m, you know, right here already.” Ben let Adam explain. He was adorable. “I guess I could have waited 20 minutes, but I’d already been sitting out there 20 minutes before I got the nerve to text you at all.” Ben smiled. Adam glanced around the room and was drawn to the smell in the kitchen. He winced and put his palm to his forehead. “Dammit. I should have brought some food, and a movie like . . . like I meant to last niii . . .”

“Adam, let’s go forward, okay?”

Adam nodded his head solemnly. “Okay.”

Ben motioned for Adam to take a seat at the kitchen bar where they had talked only a few hours before. He turned off the stove. “I’ve been thinking. We really don’t know each other outside the office unless you count the Cosmos.”

“Please, let’s not count the Cosmos. You only saw one side of me there, and I didn’t know you then.”

“Okay, no Cosmos.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“Can we forget the handicaps at work? the overbearing boss and his manipulative assistant?”

“I hope so. It’ll take some practice.”

Ben stepped up close and kissed him. “Exactly.” Ben sensed a lack of courage in the whiskey on Adam’s breath. “Do you want a drink?”

Adam put his fingers to his lips. “Shannon and I stopped at a bar after.”

“I think I’m jealous.”

“Don’t be. All we did was talk about you . . . in a very professional sense, of course.”

“Oh.” Ben opened a cupboard then remembered he'd emptied what was left of the whiskey the night before. “All I’ve got is Cinnamon Schnapps or there’s beer in the fridge.”

“A water is fine . . . and a breath mint apparently.” Adam smirked. “What were you making? It smells delicious.”

“Just a little stir-fry. Are you hungry?”

“Is there meat in it?”

“Tofu.”

Adam made a face. “No, thanks. I had a late lunch.” Adam took a long swig of the water. They weren’t connecting. “But, you should eat. I should go and let you eat. I can . . .”

“It’ll keep.” 

Adam tilted his head affectionately. He looked calm and hopeful and turned on, and Ben stepped toward him glad to also be all of those things. “Personally, I don’t want to eat or drink, or watch a movie.” Ben put his arms around Adam’s neck as Adam slipped his arms around Ben’s waist. They kissed again.

“It’s only fair I warn you, I can kiss for hours.” 

They pressed their foreheads together. The apartment was dark and quiet. For some reason, it just wasn’t happening, a match that wouldn’t light. Ben’s stomach growled, and  
Adam laughed. 

“I really should go.”

“You’re thinking about work.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We’ve got time. It’s going to be a long week.”

“I’ll probably sleep in tomorrow and go over my opening statement a thousand more times.”

They lingered at the door still hesitant to say goodbye. Ben spoke again. “Will I see you at work Monday?”

Adam looked at his feet. “I don’t know. I’ll probably be at court all day. Can I call you?”

“I’d like that.”

Adam took Ben’s hand. “Ben, I don’t care how difficult it is. I want to try. I want this to work.”

“That would really be something, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah . . . it really would. So we’re a thing?”

Ben smiled broader and brighter than he had in days. “Yes, I think we’re a thing.”

Ben put his cold dinner in a leftovers container and made himself a sandwich. He turned on the TV just to veg out for awhile. He dozed. When his phone rang, he jerked awake.

“Lo?”

“Are you asleep?”

“Um, no. I was just getting ready to go to bed.”

“Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure. You okay?”

“I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about you.”

“Yeah? I thought I was the daydreamer.”

“Yeah, well, it’s night time.”

“So it is. What’s on your mind?”

“Ben, . . . God, I don’t know where to start. I didn’t tell you . . . how amazing it was, how amazing it felt to be with you Friday . . . all day, actually, but then in my office . . .”

“It was pretty incredible.”

Adam’s voice went deeper. “You don’t know how you looked, how you felt in my hands.” 

“Adam . . .”

“I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so sorry.”

“We can get past it.” Adam was silent on the other end. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“You remember, I said there might be three things to tell you.”

Ben’s stomach began to twist into a knot. “Yes, I remember.” 

Adam sighed. “Claudia is going to call you into her office Monday to tell you she’s keeping you on . . . as her personal legal assistant.” Ben didn’t say anything. “I recommended you to her.”

“I see.”

“I know how it looks, but it was a while ago, long before all this between us now. I did it based solely on your merit as a paralegal. You have to believe that.”

“I believe you.”

“I only reminded her about it when I took this case as a favor. She said she owed me, and I reminded her about you. I don’t want you to feel funny about it when she talks to you.”

“I understand.”

“So, you’re okay with it?”

Ben wanted to be relieved, but he really wasn’t. “I’m flattered, Adam, and grateful, I guess. All I wanted was just to keep my job, you know. I wasn’t asking for a promotion.”

“I know, and I love . . . working with you so closely, but . . .”

“I understand, Adam.”

“I just need for us to be completely open now. Even if the timing is bad, I don’t want to hide anything from you.”

“I’m not mad, Adam.”

“I know, but I’m mad . . . at me, I mean.”

“Then, I guess you’ll have to find a way to forgive yourself.”

“It’s hard to do it myself.”

Ben could tell Adam was making one of his dumb jokes. “I could give you a hand.”

“Fuck. If only I was there. Why didn’t I stay?”

“Tofu, I think.”

“No . . . that wasn’t it.”

Ben settled into the couch cushions. “So, what would you do, exactly if you were here?”

Adam laughed softly. “Well, let me think. Um . . . I think I’d lay you down.”

“Oh yeah? I am lying down.”

“Hmmm. I’d get comfortable, like settle in between your knees, you know?”

“Hold up. I gotta be all naked for missionary.” Adam laughed and Ben did too. “Sorry, that’s not exactly erotic play by play. 

“Well, don’t tell my cock, coz I’m ten times hornier than I was a second ago.”

“Oh really? Okay, good, so . . . on my back, feet up.”

“Are you really naked?”

“Yeah, and . . .” Ben’s voice went husky. “. . . and, I can remember you touching me.” Adam made a little noise. “What are you doing now?”

“Well, at the moment, I’m trying to jerk off without dropping my phone.”

“Put me on speaker.”

“I’m guessing you’ve done this before.”

“Maybe.” Ben put his phone down, but on speaker he could still hear Adam breathing.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for you.” Ben slicked two fingers with spit and circled them over his hole. Adam was making similar sounds and decided commentary was unnecessary, for the  
moment. He’d rather imagine what Adam was doing. Ben tilted his hips and pushed a finger inside. He arched his back at the sensation then slipped in the second digit and twisted them. He growled with pleasure, and Adam gasped.

Adam had scooched his hips forward and opened his pants, his delicate skin already deep pink with the blush of lust and the need to be touched. Adam wet the head of his prick. He thumbed over the slit then put pressure at the top, milking it until his fingertips glistened. He slid his palm down with a whisper grip then squeezed up and over changing the angle and the pressure. He pinched his eyes shut. It was so good, he went for it.

Ben had worked himself open and warmed his chest with the flat of his other hand. Now he stroked himself loosely in tandem with the fingers moving inside his body. 

“Aaadam?”

“Hmmm . . .”

“You there?”

“So, so there.”

“Ahhm ready.”

“You want it, baby?”

Something about the way Adam said baby made Ben clench his fingers a little harder and he hit it just right. “Ah! . . . deeeeep seed me, full up soaked with your cum.”

“Ffffuuuck!” Adam closed his fist and thrust his hips into it. His mouth fell slack as he shot an arc onto the floor. Ben barely got a hand on it before he was spilling onto his stomach. They both lay still.

“Adam? You still on speaker?”

“Nah. I gotcha right here.”

“I’m totally boneless.”

“I can’t move either.” Adam chuckled. 

“What? What’s funny?”

“What did you say to me?”

“I don’t know.”

“That was the filthiest thing I have ever heard.”

“I seriously doubt that.”

“It was hot.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

“Dirty talk?”

“Not exactly. I mean when we were in my office and just now, you know. You get going and you’re all . . . ‘fuck me fuck me fuck me’ like frantic for it.”

“I can’t help it. You make me a little crazy. I wasn’t ever like this before.”

“Me either. I used to be kind of tense.”

It was Ben’s turn to laugh. “Used to be?”

“Okay, okay, I’m still tense, but after I’ve been with you it goes away. Sex or just talking with you I get this feeling, a peaceful feeling.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“It’s an addictive thing.”

“So you’re like high on me right now?”

“Totally.” Adam yawned.

“I think I’d better let you get some sleep.” 

“I guess we can’t stay up all night.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing . . . just goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Adam.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial made Adam doubt all he had become. Ben was there to remind him.

Sunday came and went. Ben and Adam texted each other but decided to keep apart at least until the trial was under way. Ben invited a couple friends over to his place to re-connect to the life he used to know. It was thankfully the same as he left it when he dove headfirst into the world of Adam months ago. His friends complimented him on how well he looked and how agreeable his rather respectable grown-up job must be for him. They also soon realized since Ben couldn’t keep from smiling stupidly every time his phone vibrated that he was in love. Ben didn’t mind admitting it. It actually felt terrific to be able to say it aloud, for people to know. “Yes, I’m in love.” It was real.  
Adam was shopping, also with a couple friends he hadn’t seen in a while. He wanted a new tie even though he already had dozens. Of course, it didn’t stop with a tie. Several pairs of boots wanted his body, and it was so cruel to refuse them at least a try-on. Adam’s playful spirit clued his friends that he must have acquired a new toy. All he said was, “It’s not like that, not this time.” They all looked at one another dubiously, then their teasing switched to cautious congratulations. 

On Monday morning Ben walked into the office with confidence. Adam would be at court all day. He knew what he had to do. He went through his usual routine, getting coffee and settling in. There were a few files on his desk with research requests scrawled on post-it notes. While his computer was booting up, his phone vibrated. It was Adam.

“Hey, opening remarks yet?”

“Not yet. The judge is running late. Guess who’s foreman of the jury?”

“No way. 26?”

“Oh baby.”

“You end up pregnant, I’m gonna dump your ass.”

“I’ll be good.”

“You’ll be great.”

“I’ll call you later.”

Right before lunch, Ben was summoned by Ms. Dreyfus. He couldn’t help but be a little intimidated. The first thing Ben saw was the wall behind her, heavily populated with degrees and framed honors. She herself looked every bit the professional, 21st century woman. Her clothing and hair, impeccable. Her desk, formidable even with photos of her kids, because by god, she could do both even after the divorce. She held her position because she fucking earned it, blood sweat and tears. Her smile took Ben off guard.

“Come in, Mr. Whishaw. Please sit down?” Ben sat and Ms. Dreyfus clasped her hands together. “Do you know why you’re here?”

“I suspect it has something to do with the rumors of lay-offs and new assignments.”

“You don’t look nervous.”

“I consider every event in my life as an opportunity, even if it means I have to change my original course. Whether I stay or go, I’m not afraid of what you’re going to say.”

Ms. Dreyfus was intrigued. “Do you know what I’m going to say?”

“Not exactly, but I do know what I’m going to say.”

She smiled again. “I’m prepared to offer you a promotion as legal assistant to me personally. It comes at a price, though, long irregular hours usually. You’ve come highly recommended so I trust you’re up for the job.”

“I appreciate the offer very much. It would be an honor, actually.”

“Good.” Ms. Dreyfus pulled a document from the drawer.

Ben put up his hand. “But . . . I must decline.”

Ms. Dreyfus looked over the top of her glasses and frowned. “May I ask why?”

“I’m going to resign. I’m leaving the DA’s office.”

“Strange, I thought you were one of the employees who intended to stay long term.”

“I thought I was too.”

Ms. Dreyfus softened. “You and Mr. Lambert worked so well together. I’m curious. What happened?”

“Mr. Lambert . . . Adam, has inspired me to realize my true strengths. I’m confident my future is in negotiation.”

“Labor law? Well, there certainly isn’t a lack of opportunity to settle contracts in LA. No stomach for crime drama?”

“I’ve seen the toll it can take. I’m just more comfortable with people’s money than people’s lives.”

“Don’t forget that sometimes it’s the same thing.”

They both stood up and shook hands. “I’ve learned a lot here. I appreciate your leadership very much.”

“You’re very welcome. Oh, I almost forgot.” She went back to her desk drawer and pulled out a file, his file. “You should ask Adam for a new recommendation. This performance eval is old from when you first got here. Tell him he might want to refrain from dotting his I’s with hearts.” She winked at him.

“What?”

“Well, he may as well have. We’re so damned competitive around here, no one writes an eval this glowing after a couple weeks’ work. I can say it, now that you’re leaving.” Ben didn’t know how to respond. “Come on, what kind of DA would I be if I didn’t know when my employees are having an affair?”

Ben found his voice. “It wasn’t anything at first.”

“Maybe for you. Adam was a goner the first time he laid eyes on you. I know him. Probably better than you do in some regards. It baffles me how he can be such a cunning litigator but so transparent in his personal life. Somehow he’s not as jaded as the rest of us. I look at him, and I remember what it felt like to trust that justice would prevail, that there is such a thing as justice at all. Please . . . do everything you can to keep him believing. He’s one of the only ones I know who still makes a difference.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Now . . .” Ms. Dreyfus tore an envelope in half and began writing a number under the address. “When you choose a firm you want to work for, choose wisely. Put my name with this address and number as a reference, and the job is yours.” Ben reached for the note, but she pulled it back again. “On one condition.”

“Of course, anything.”

“Don’t tell the rest of them that you resigned.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather they believed I let you go to break up the romance. I really don’t want to encourage that sort of thing in the office, but . . . it was Adam.” She shrugged. “I don’t want anyone to think I’ve gone soft over a love story. I’ve got to maintain my reputation.” She bent her fingers into claws. “Dragon Lady.”

“All right, I’ll play along, but I really don’t think anyone knows about me and Adam.”

Ms. Dreyfus was clearly amused. “Honey, everybody knows! How ironic. I have an entire office begging for his attention, and the one he wants turned out to be the longest hold out.” 

Ben paused at the door and tapped the envelope. “Thank you . . . again.”

“Good luck, Ben.” When he opened the door, she spoke a little louder for all the listeners straining to hear. “You should clean out your desk, Mr. Whishaw. You may leave immediately.”

On his floor, Ben winked at Janie who slowly put two and two together. A lot of employees had already left for lunch, and Ben was glad he wouldn’t have to suffer the long consolations as he packed his box. He’d be no good pretending rejection. It was practically impossible to stop smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Ben got home, he started updating his resume immediately. He went online to check the paralegal boards for job openings. Around five o’clock, Adam called him.

“What the fuck, Ben? I just got off the phone with Claudia. What happened?”

“It’s all good, Adam. I turned it down.”

“But it was all worked out. You’d have a good job. I’d be there, but stay out of the way.”

“I know. I know.”

Adam calmed down. “What are you going to do now?”

“I’ll find job, Adam. I’ve already started looking.” A long pause followed. “Why don’t you come over so we can talk about it.”

“I want to, but I can’t.” Adam sounded drained. 

“How did it go today?”

“Pretty much by the book. We started with the psychologists and social workers. We didn’t have time to get through all the character witnesses today. The judge is really pushing this one. I might have to cross-examine that smug jackass tomorrow. I have to prepare.”

“No cheap shots by defense council?”

“No, not yet, no surprises today . . . well, not until just now.” Adam was getting worked up again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in advance, but I didn’t want you thinking about it in court.”

“I get that, it’s just . . . I don’t know. I feel like the kid whose best friend is moving to another school. And, that’s childish and emotional, but I’m too fucking tired to be sophisticated. I just want to go home and forget about work for one fucking minute.”

“That’s why I resigned.”

“What?”

“If I stayed at the DA’s office, we’d always be at work, even at home. We couldn’t put it away even if we wanted to.” Silence. “Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Adam’s voice was much softer. “How come I can never see past my own nose?”

“Well, at least it’s an exquisitely profound nose.” 

Adam laughed lazily. “Stop it. My instincts are shit. Unlike you, I’m wandering aimlessly in circles.”

“It’s because you’re either doing something for you or doing something for me. I’m thinking, us. But, . . . maybe I’m being too pushy.”

“No, no you’re not. Push me, please! Just, be patient. I’ll catch up eventually. I promise.”

“I quit my job, but I’m not quitting us. Okay?” 

“Okay. Ben?”

“Yeah?”

Adam struggled with his emotions. He was so exhausted. “Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Adam.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben spent the next morning typing application letters. Already, five firms looked promising, but only three of them were viable commutes. He didn’t want to have to move, if he could help it. He looked around his apartment. It was small and clean and perfect for him, but Ben was perfectly bored. He tried to take a nap, but his mind would not cooperate. He kept wondering about the trial. When Adam called in the middle of the day, he was surprised.

“Adam?”

“Hello? Ben?”

“Yeah?” It sounded like Adam was walking. “Where are you?”

“Hang on a minute.” Ben heard a door shut. “Okay. Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

Adam breathed deeply. “I just wanted to hear your voice. How’s your day going?”

“Fine. Actually, I’ve done everything and now I’m just staring at the walls. What the hell am I supposed to do with all this time?”

“I don’t know. Learn a foreign language? Take up guitar?”

There was a tone in Adam’s voice that seemed fake. “Hey . . . why did you really call me? 

Adam was slow to reply. “I made her cry. Miss Landry . . . Dana. I said I would, and I did.”

“You had to, Adam. She’ll understand eventually. Are you okay?”

Adam was definitely holding it in. “No, not really.”

Ben didn’t need an explanation. He knew the testimonies and cross-examination today would be brutal. He also suspected it would affect Adam more than he wanted to admit. 

“Is court in recess?”

“Yeah. I think even the judge needed to take a break.”

“How long have you got?”

“Uh, we reconvene at 4, so . . .” 

“Come over.”

“You sure?”

“As fast as you can.” Ben disconnected. He imagined his lover rushing to be by his side and stripped naked. Ben got ready. No wine and roses. It was what it was. Adam needed  
him. 

Ben opened the door in a barely there robe, and Adam grabbed him into his arms. Ben held on tight as Adam waltzed him over to the wall. They kissed, desperately. Ben tried to  
suck the tension from Adam’s lips, and it worked. He pushed Adam’s suit coat off this shoulders and threw it toward the couch.

Adam followed it with his eyes then looked at the coat hooks above Ben’s head. That would have been a better, albeit less dramatic place for it. “Oh. Sorry.” Adam smiled then turned his attention to Ben’s hands deftly unfastening Adam’s pants. 

“Maybe we should . . .” Adam nodded down the hall.

“No time.” Ben tore the foil off the condom with his teeth. Adam was plenty hard, but he froze. He leaned forward and hid his face in Ben’s neck. “What is it?”

Adam whispered. “Say yes. I just need to hear you say it . . . please, say yes.”

“Yes.” Ben took Adam’s face in his hands. “Look at me. Yes. I want you so fucking much. Yes.”

Adam tugged his collar loose and threw his tie over his shoulder. He lifted Ben off the floor and put him against the wall. Ben wrapped his legs around Adam’s waist and held onto his arms. Adam’s fingers bit into Ben’s hips then with the help of gravity he filled Ben’s body entirely on the second thrust. They kept eye contact the whole time, recording every second of the intimacy between them. There was a storm of emotion behind the desire on Adam’s face, and Ben felt like he was slipping underneath the surface treading so very close to pure honesty. Adam’s legs began to tremble. Ben reached above his head and pulled himself up by the coat hooks.

“Jesus, look at you.”

“Let it go, Adam . . . not for me. Just let it go.” Adam did. He flexed his thighs then stood still. Ben clenched tight when Adam moaned, and it was over. Ben sort of climbed down, and Adam held his pants up. “The bathroom is that way, on the left.” Ben went to the kitchen and took Adam a water. 

Adam put himself back together. A slight flush was the only evidence that remained. He stared into the mirror carefully smoothing his hair. 

“I’m rumpled.”

“Any attorney worth a damn should look rumpled by 4 pm.”

“I wish you were there with me.”

“I don’t. It’s easier to fuck here than the men’s room at the courthouse.”

Adam smiled, but he was troubled still. “I have to go back. I don’t want to leave her too long.”

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“She’s re-living it, only this time everyone is watching, judging. He humiliated her, and now defense council is doing it again.”

“Don’t underestimate the strength she gets from you. Rely on it.”

Adam didn’t seem sure he was capable of being anyone’s pillar of strength at the moment. “What kind of sick fuck needs to get off during a rape case?”

Ben frowned. “Hey, wait a minute.” He turned Adam around. “Tell me something. What is defense council wearing today?”

Adam looked puzzled. “Uh, a dark blue suit, white blouse. She’s a fucking fortress from cuffs to collar.”

“And I’ll bet her hair is put back tight like a headmistress, a dom with a whip, right?”

Adam was beginning to see where this was going and half-smiled. “Yeah.”

“What about the jock?”

“Total prep, in khaki’s for fuck’s sake. He looks like a 6 ft twelve-year-old virgin.”

“So innocent . . . only it’s all bullshit.”

“It’s total bullshit.”

“Adam, who doesn’t use sexuality to their advantage? Life IS sex. The job is sex . . . flaunting it, hiding it, doing it. Sex is power. In this case, everyone is talking about it, only it’s a crime. It’s dirty and immoral like everyone there is pretending they saved themselves for marriage or some shit, and only do it to make babies. It’s ugly because they’ve all lied one way or another – to a lover, to themselves but not you. You’re power is the contrast, Adam – no shame. Sex is great. In fact, it’s fucking fantastic, and that’s how it is on the good side, the proud side, the satisfied swimming in afterglow side. Walk in a little late and perfectly rumpled like you may or may not have just fucked your boyfriend so hard up the ass, he saw stars.” Adam was grinning broadly now. “And smile that smile that says ‘yes, yes . . . please and thank you sex’ because they want it. They want to be on your side where sex is honest and beautiful between two consenting adults in this godforsaken free country, and any prick who takes advantage of that ruins it for everyone. That fucker needs to pay because he dares to call what he did, sex. It wasn’t. It was assault, an act of pure violence. You can make it so when they look at him and look at you, there is no gray area whatsoever.”

“I hope you’re right, Ben. I don’t want to let her down.”

“You won’t. One way or another, you’ll get him.”

Ben helped Adam with his suit coat and walked him to the door. Adam turned around and embraced him. “Thanks for the pep talk . . . and the mind-blowing sex.” Ben laughed and they kissed once more. “You know I love this passionate, ballsy side of you, but the next time we get together can we please fuck in bed? This acrobat shit is putting a kink in my spine.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a lot of kinks don’t you, poor baby.”

“That’s the trouble with you kids today – no respect for your elders.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trial came to an end. It was rushed, undoubtedly, by the defense in order to keep the media from digging in their heels. Still, it was the longest week of Adam’s life. He had been amazing especially in his closing argument. After 18 hours of jury deliberation, the defense began to sweat. Adam took a call and when he came back, his eyes were bright.  
“They want to offer a deal. Do you want to hear them out?”

Miss Dana Landry’s eyes were wide. “I don’t know.” 

Shannon offered her reassurance. “They’re making an offer because a long deliberation works in our favor, but we can’t know for sure how they’ll find. With a deal, you know for sure. Adam will know if it’s fair.”

“They’re probably going to put sexual assault on the table to get him out of felony territory.”

Dana was confused. “What’s sexual assault exactly?”

“It’s a blanket term, lots of levels. It includes rape, but it gives a conflicted jury room to find guilty on a lesser charge.”

“He raped me.”

“Yes, he did. And if we plea it out, he will definitely go to jail. I promise. We can always refuse the offer, and take our chances.”

“The jury might let him walk away.”

“I doubt it, but they might.” 

Dana decided. “I want him to go to jail for what he did to me. I don’t care what they want to call it.”

“Okay. We’ll hear their plea. I’ll advise you, but inevitably it’s your call. You’ll have to face him. Can you do it?”

“Yes, if you’re there with me, I can do it.”

“Then let’s go watch them squirm.”

When they walked into the chamber, the table was thankfully wide. Landry could keep her distance from her attacker. The entire defense was tight-lipped, knowing prosecution had them over a barrel. The defense council spoke immediately.

“Let’s not waste any time here. We are willing to plead guilty to sexual assault, suspended sentence, 18 months probation with community outreach.”

“No way. He does time or there will be no deal at all. If he pleads guilty to rape, we’ll agree to minimum sentence 6 years.”

The father flared a bright red. “That’s ridiculous!” He cleared his throat irritably, hating that his attorney warned him they would reject the first offer and not to say anything. 

Adam had no mercy. “The jury could be considering twice that right now. The clock is ticking.” 

“Or they could be seconds from exonerating him entirely.”

Adam tilted his head. “Really?”

“All right. Sexual assault, class A misdemeanor, 1 year with parole and time served.”

The young man turned green before their eyes. The panic that crossed his face with the mention of jail time was enough for all Adam’s sleepless nights combined. 

“Misdemeanor?! You’re joking, right? Class D felony, 2 years, but I guarantee you I will be at the parole hearing.”

“But, that’s state prison!” 

Adam looked directly at the young man. “You damn right it is.” The implication was terrifying . . . an eye for an eye. Adam wanted the reality to soak in. “He can’t vote. He can’t buy a gun.” Then he looked at the father. “He can’t run for office . . . ever.”

Defense council conferred with her client. “Sexual assault is a ‘wobbler’ in the state of California. It’s gray area. We can file for reduction to misdemeanor after sentencing. The judge could then order his term carried out at county jail.”

The young man gulped. “No. No. There has to be something else.”

The defense council sighed knowing she had no other leverage but to appeal to Adam’s practicality. “Adam. What point is the extra step if I’m going to get misdemeanor anyway?” She looked out the side of her eyes toward her client’s father to make her meaning clear. “You know I will.”

Adam looked at his client. Her face seemed almost serene, and he knew that the power to choose her attacker’s fate was the biggest step so far toward healing. She needed this closure. With the slightest nod of her head, Adam proceeded. “He pleads guilty to sexual assault, class A misdemeanor, 1 year county jail and no parole. And, he files with the Sexual Offender Registry Board.”

Defense bristled again. “Tier 1!”

Adam denied her. “Tier 2, public access. Who’s to say he hasn’t done this before? Who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again?”

The defendant was still arrogant enough to be impudent. “Oh right! Like I’d ever do it again, now!”

All the air went out of the room. Dana’s hand went to her mouth, visibly shaking. Her voice was barely a rasp. “Then there are others?” The defense attorney surrendered her pen on the table.

Adam’s voice was low and controlled. “Do what again?” 

The father grabbed his son’s arm, and he cowered immediately. Defense council snarled at the father. “Can’t you ever shut him up?!” It was too late.

Adam raised his voice shattering the silence. “Huh? Do WHAT again?!!”

Shannon helped Dana out of the room. Adam stood. “Deal’s off.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of their wait was less than an hour. The jury was out the better part of a day, and now everyone had reassembled. Adam squeezed Dana’s hand. The foreman was beckoned to stand.

“Mr. Foreman, have you reached a verdict?”

“We have, your honor.”

“What say you?”

“We the jury, find the defendant . . . guilty.”

The young man’s knees buckled. As he sank into his chair, his father and attorney attempted to console him. The judge rapped his gavel, thanked the jury and dismissed them. Adam could do no more than look Mr. Fletcher’s way. Mr. Fletcher could do no more than look back, and it was over. Adam liked to think that Mr. Fletcher was the reason they stayed out so long. Maybe he was the one who convinced the others to convict. Adam would never know for sure.

The judge called for order and announced a date for sentencing. Awkwardly, defense council and Adam finished packing up at the same time and met at the aisle. Adam motioned for the lady to go first. She huffed as they walked down the center together. 

“You know, of course, that Daddy’s going to pull some strings before his son ever sees the inside of a jail cell.”

“Of course. But a conviction is a conviction, and you’d better prepare for other co-eds who may come forward now with shockingly similar stories.”

“Jesus, I hate trying cases with you, Adam. I always feel like I need a shower afterward.”

Adam grinned. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam texted to Ben. 

\-- guilty

\-- holy shit!

\-- bringing champagne . . . and my assless chaps

\-- can’t wait <3

Adam dropped his briefcase into the trunk and took out his overnight bag. He couldn’t remember ever being happier.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt that Adam and Ben needed not only to establish an emotional foundation but an actual environmental one as well in order to make their relationship work. In a perfect world, I could have taken chapters and chapters to get there. I hope those of you who love these characters will continue their love affair in your own imaginations even though my pages have stopped here.

Adam stared at the monitor. He absent-mindedly scratched at the front of his pajama bottoms and yawned. “Ben?”

“Yup?” Ben was in the kitchen, barefooted in boxers.

“What was the one after the arson case?”

“In February?”

“Yeah.”

“That guy we called JFK.”

“Oh yeah. I kept thinking his name was John Fitzgerald.” Adam was typing again.

“Fitzpatrick, though.” Ben crossed the room with a bowl of cereal. He sat on Adam’s lap. Adam shifted his legs to support him better.

“That’s DOCTOR Fitzpatrick.” Adam mocked the defense counsel’s attempt to give his client credibility.

“Riiiight. Who knew selling discount pharmaceuticals to minors out of an RV gave you a license to practice?”

“He was a slippery fucker. If it wasn’t for you, that one might have gotten away.”

“It was just an oversight . . .”

“That’s what I mean, though. Your attention to detail is going to make you perfect for contract law.”

Ben looked over his shoulder. “You were there, too. You told me what to write.”

“But you did the drafting, and it was ten times better than I would have done. We settled out of court and saved the state a bundle.”

Ben smirked. “That was the first of many all-nighters. I was trying to impress you.”

“Well, you did.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Adam minimized the letter to reveal a second document. “Check it out.” Adam rested his hand on Ben’s hip and nodded to the page on the screen.

Ben scanned what appeared to be a new and improved resume. “You’ve been busy.”

Adam shrugged. “It was nothing. What do you think?”

Ben talked around a big bite of cereal when he pointed with his spoon. “You can’t put that.”

Adam grinned. “Why not?”

“Coz, it’s not true. I’m not double-jointed. And I think ‘gives good head’ should go under skills not previous experience. You make me sound like a whore.”

Adam laughed. “Just adding a little personality.”

“To a resume? or a Grindr profile?” Ben turned and straddled him. He fed Adam a bite of cereal.

Adam’s smile faded, and he stopped chewing. “Wuhdidjou justickin muhmowf?”

“Kashi.” 

Adam finally swallowed it. “What is it with you and this Kashi – tofu – spinach situation?”

“You want some more?” Adam nodded and opened his mouth. Ben dribbled milk on Adam’s chin and kissed it off. “I see you’ve been snooping in my fridge.”

“I was hungry.” Adam winked in case Ben needed reminding they had neglected to eat dinner the night before. When Adam came through the door, all other plans but falling into bed were forgotten.

The verdict was in, but the case was far from over. Immediately after adjournment, Adam answered the questions of the reporters who had camped out at the courthouse. He was confident but purposefully vague, aware that Mr. Political was already demanding an appeal. Claudia told him to take off a couple days. She would be handling the press from here.

With no definitive time line, no schedule, no pressure of any kind, Adam felt like he was floating, not an altogether pleasant sensation. The conflict he had tried to avoid by having an office romance was suddenly nullified when Ben quit his job. It was a smart move for Ben career-wise, but Adam knew in the back of his mind that Ben’s underlying motivation was to make room for a relationship that may or may not ever exist. 

They made love as if they had always been together. They fit physically, so well and read each other’s signals in the bedroom just as naturally as they had at work. They were in the habit of practicing discretion. That included looking away when the depth of their connection threatened to get too intense for public scrutiny. Suddenly, they had nothing left to hide and it was a bit unnerving. 

Ben had planned everything. First, they would make dinner together and unwind with a bottle of wine. They would savor a long, luxurious meal then they would undress each other, crawl into bed and make love until they fell asleep. Ben was already thinking about that part when he buzzed Adam up to his apartment. They just stood there for a second not saying anything. The enormity of what had happened over the last several days sort of burst into the foreground like party confetti, and they flew into each other’s arms, surprised by their own sudden need.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Oh god.”

“Come on.”

They tumbled onto the bed still fully clothed. They were becoming used to ravaging each other around the obstacles of buttons and belt buckles. Adam’s pent up stress wanted a way out apparently through his dick, and he was already painfully hard. He whispered Ben’s name in the middle of a ferocious blow, and Ben could tell from the way Adam’s thighs were trembling he needed more. Adam’s unbridled desire didn’t make Ben feel submissive anymore now that he knew he had the power to take Adam apart. They were both equally invested and the undeniable wanting was mutual. The look on Adam’s face was almost apologetic until Ben eased his pants off his hips and turned around. He pressed his ass against Adam’s open fly. “You want some of this?”

Adam clenched his teeth. “Ssssweeet, sexy bitch.” Adam pushed Ben over then worked him slick and open with tongue. As Ben’s pleas grew more desperate, Adam plunged forward and nailed him to the mattress. He flexed his entire body over and over hard enough to squeak the box springs. Every time he pumped his hips, he slammed the headboard into the wall. Seconds after Adam collapsed with a curse and a thud, the banging on the wall commenced. The sound was coming from another room.

“Hey! Knock it off, for Christssakes!” It was a man’s voice made softer by the muffled laughter of a woman. (Aw, leave ‘em alone.) “Jesus, they been goin’ at it for . . .”

The voices of Ben’s neighbors drifted away as they returned to their own activities, which given the early hour, were probably eating dinner and watching TV. 

Ben was grinning broadly, because Adam tried to whisper as if it mattered now. 

“I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be. She’s a screamer.” They laughed then got lost in each other’s eyes.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

They kissed soft, lazy kisses. Ben moved to get up, but Adam didn’t want him to. “Where are you going?”

“I’m thirsty. Come on, let’s get something to drink.” Ben held out his hand, and Adam took it. Ben got a couple bottles of water, and they stood at the bar. 

Adam looked around. Ben didn’t have a dining room much less a dining table. This was it. Tiny rooms. Paper thin walls. “What?”

“What?”

“You want to say something.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Adam.”

“I was just thinking about your place.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Nothing. It’s cute.”

“It’s crap, but it’s home.”

“My place is too big, too many memories. I was thinking of relocating, and . . .”

“Adam?”

“What?”

“Don’t.”

Adam blushed. “Too soon.”

“I mean, I hear you, okay? It’s not like we just met at a club last night, but . . .”

“I’m sorry. I usually don’t blurt out what I’m thinking. It could ruin my career, for one thing. It’s just that I want to talk, but everything I want to say just scares the hell out of me, and I . . .”

Ben kissed him. “Me too. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You hungry?”

“No, not really.”

“You want to watch TV? I saw you on the news.”

“No shit?”

“After you called, I turned it on. It was just a quick blurb about the verdict and the appeal, but you looked fantastic.”

“Oh, so that’s what turns you on? the flash and glamour?”

“Yup, the paper cuts and eye strain really get me going.”

“I knew it.” Adam pulled him closer.

“Huge pay off, though. I get in your pants, then I get in the spotlight.”

“Is that so?”

“Claudia begged me to stay.”

“I feel so used.”

“To think I gave it all up for a job behind the scenes.”

“And more money.”

“And more money.”

“You worked on your resume?”

“Yeah. You gonna write me a recommendation?”

“Dear lucky bastards, if you don’t hire this smart, super-talented, super-sexy boy, you should have your head examined.” Ben kissed him again then buried his face in Adam’s neck.

“You’ve just . . . done so much for me. I can’t ever . . .”

“You don’t have to. I’m willing to take your case, pro bono.”

He laughed and Ben shoved him. “Really, your jokes are so stupid!”

“You love it.”

“Yes . . . I do.” They had time, finally, an uninterrupted span of hours that included at least two sunrises and two sunsets. It had taken them less than an hour to drift toward thoughts of permanence. It was so dangerous and intoxicating and excruciating . . . and wonderful.

They strolled back to the bedroom. This time, they would be completely naked together, face to face. They slipped under the covers and explored by touch alone. It was a new kind of intimacy to witness what made their eyes flutter, their lips twitch. Ben melted under Adam’s heat, his weight. When they joined together limbs entwined and nose to nose, it was so good, they couldn’t stop smiling. 

“My god, you’re beautiful.”

Ben didn’t answer. He only caressed Adam’s cheek, adoration in his eyes – so pure, so honest. Adam pressed his forehead into Ben’s shoulder. Ben ran his fingers through Adam’s hair and squeezed his thighs a little tighter around his middle. They came more quietly this time, not just for the neighbors’ sake but because they wanted to hold the bliss inside. They clung as they shuddered through a shared climax then stretched out alongside each other, holding hands.

Ben got up. “I’ll be right back.” Adam heard him washing up in the sink in the bathroom. He came back to bed with a hot cloth for Adam. “Here.”

“Thanks, baby.”

Ben sat on the edge of the bed. “Why don’t you take a shower, and I’ll make us something to eat.”

“Okay, but not too much. I think I’m gonna crash any minute.”

“Just a bite.” He kissed Adam but moved away before Adam could pull him back into bed. 

Adam grumbled. “My arms don’t work.”

Ben called over his shoulder. “Shower.”

“My legs don’t work either.”

“Water’s hot.”

Adam stood under the pulse of the shower until the mirrors were steamed over. He might have stayed in there until the water ran cold, but suddenly, he missed Ben . . . badly. He hurried to dry and wrapped the towel around his waist. He stopped at the end of the hall and watched Ben cutting pieces of fruit into a bowl. The ceiling light shown down on him like a vignette in an Impressionistic painting, and Adam knew he never wanted to see a kitchen without Ben in it ever again. They ate the fruit and a few crackers. Ben put out a tray of cheese and opened a bottle of wine. Adam was grateful that Ben seemed to do all the talking. A friend of his worked at a winery, so he always had the good stuff for a discount. It sparked a conversation about friends and parties that kept Ben smiling and relaxed. Adam just soaked in the glow.

When they went to bed again, they snuggled and slept. Adam woke up and realized he was in a strange place. Ben stirred, but Adam quieted him. He spooned behind Ben and held him close. Ben sleepily put his arm over Adam’s and pulled his hand up under his chin. Adam nuzzled his face into the back of Ben’s neck and blinked back tears. Just at that moment in the chasm between night and day, with the man that he loved in his arms, Adam needed for nothing . . . complete fulfillment. Until he saw Ben, walk into this office, he didn’t believe he could ever be happy again. Now Adam knew he might be happier than he had ever been before. He rested his head on Ben’s pillow and slept a deep, dreamless sleep.

Adam woke with the dawn out of habit and began updating Ben’s letter of recommendation without feeling the slightest conflict of interest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, at present, Adam had his man right where he wanted. He brushed his lips up and down his neck while Ben was prattling on about groceries. “What do you usually have for breakfast?”

“Hmmm? Just coffee.”

“You want a refill?”

Adam took the bowl from Ben’s hands and put it beside the empty mug. “I want a replay.”

Ben grinned. “I thought we were talking about a healthy diet.”

Adam was letting his hands roam now. “Fuck diets.”

“Well, that’s one way to keep fit. Skip every other meal and fuck instead.”

“At this rate, we’ll be Olympians.” 

Ben interrupted their kissing. “Do you have appointments today?” 

“Only one of pressing importance.” Ben rolled his eyes, and Adam squeezed his thighs. “You?”

Ben was savoring the anticipation of Adam’s expression when he delivered the news. “I have an idea, a proposition so delectable, it will take you beyond your wildest desires.” Ben was grinding on him a little bit. 

“I thought we went there already.”

“I’ve got so much more in mind.” Ben smiled sideways. 

Adam sighed. “Honey, if you were holding back last night, I’d like to check my disability insurance first.” 

Ben kissed him so softly on the lips, Adam felt his insides go all tingly. “Have mercy on me, Ben Whishaw.”

Ben continued to plant little kisses on Adam’s cheeks. “So, you wanna hear my idea?” 

“Uh huh?” Adam was ready to take this tease back to bed.

Ben whispered in Adam’s ear. “I want to go shopping.” He said it like it was the most shameless sex act imaginable. 

Adam gasped. “You better be serious. If you’re just messing with me . . .” 

“Totally serious. I dress like I’m still in college. I need a new look.”

Adam was relishing this combination of happy and horny. “You mean . . . I get to make you over?”

Ben opened his arms. “I’m in your hands.”

“Fuuuuck! I love it when you talk dirty.” He moved Ben off his lap and stood up. He found his phone on the counter and started scrolling numbers. 

“What are you doing?”

“We’re going down Melrose, and I know a salon in my old neighborhood . . . mani-pedi, haircut, brow wax.”

“Whoa . . . how about the budget package? I can’t afford all that, Adam. I was just hoping you could pick out a pair of pants, a couple of shirts.”

Adam took Ben’s hands in his. “Let me do this. When you have a couple paychecks in the bank, then you can do something for me. But, right now I really, really want this.”

“Okay, but . . .”

Adam disappeared into Ben’s bedroom, and Ben wondered if he was supposed to follow. In no time, Adam came back with an armload of Ben’s clothes, hangers clacking in protest over the back of the couch. 

“Adam, what are you . . .?”

“You’ll see. Walk over there.”

“What?”

“Go on . . . strut for me.”

“Adam.”

“Come on, I wanna dress you with my eyes.”

Ben walked awkwardly to the opposite side of the apartment suddenly self-conscious about what to do with his arms. “Like this?”

Adam turned his head to the side. “I think you’re wearing all your clothes too big.”

“No, I’m not.” Ben went back over to him, as Adam thumbed the faded tags for sizes.

“Yeah, yeah you are.” He pulled out a shirt and pant combo and pushed them into Ben’s arms. “There, put those on and do a runway down the hall and back.”

Ben shrugged the shirt over his shoulders and started to step into the pant legs. “Why are you watching me like that? I feel like I’m doing a striptease in reverse.”

“Baby, you know it.”

Ben stood there shrouded in a baggy cocoon. “This can’t be sexy.”

“I’ll be the judge. Walk.”

Ben smirked and sashayed his hips, playfully striking a pose here and there. He made Adam laugh, and Ben didn’t think he’d ever heard a melody quite so lovely.

Ben stopped in his tracks. “Would you sing for me?” 

Adam was taken aback. “You mean now?”

“I mean, some time . . . maybe soon.”

Adam picked through the clothes. “Yeah, I . . . uh, I don’t know. It’s been a long time.”

Ben leaned against the wall. “Maybe you’re due for a makeover too.”

“You’re talking about something much harder than changing a pair of pants. I’m too old to make over now.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Ben, I haven’t sung a note since the break up.”

“Was he the only reason in your life to sing?”

“It’s complicated. I quit singing, but I was just being spiteful. Then it was just easier to avoid it. With him, I felt like I had an excuse to indulge myself. He was the first one to encourage me to do what I loved instead of being sensible. He just took it too far. He made it feel like work, and then he made me choose. I went with law, and he went away. I let the music go with him.”

Ben came closer and rubbed Adam’s arm. “It’s not fair for you to let him take away a part of you that you love so much. Why do you have to choose one or the other?”

“I don’t think my professional and personal life will ever be compatible. Even us – you quit your job for me.” 

“Hey.” Ben knew they’d have this conversation eventually. “I didn’t quit. I just started again, and that goes for my personal life too, I might add.”

“How did you get so brave?”

“I don’t know. I guess I kept my eyes open for signs and just went with my instincts. It helps if you believe in the perpetuity of rebirth.”

“It’s like believing in the phoenix. I have yet to see one.”

“It only takes one, Adam.”

They kissed for a long time. Then they dressed and headed for Adam’s favorite neighborhood, where better to start again. He had called in advance to make sure he could get Ben worked into the schedule. Of course, always for Adam was the response he got. He had already told members of his circle about Ben the last time he went shopping. He had gushed until they gave him their uh-oh faces. No one had been sad to see Adam break up. They tried to be sympathetic, but the truth was, they knew the man was no good for Adam. Word had gotten around pretty fast that Adam had a new boy now. A puffy old queen with a salon seemed the perfect place to set the gossip straight and do just what Ben wanted . . . start again.

“Tina! It’s so good to see you.” Adam kissed the man’s cheek.

“Adam, precious! It’s been way too long. Look at you, so pretty.” He pulled Adam into a hug in order to whisper secretively. “If this is the one you’re diddling, he looks good on you.” Then back to the public. “I saw you on television last night. We are all so proud of you.”

“Aw, thanks, Mom.” 

Tina winked to an associate. “Look, Steve. Adam brought us a puppy. Who’s this?”

Adam made introductions. “This is Ben. Ben this is Martin Blake.” 

Tina guffawed. “Call me Tina after my stage name Martina.” Tina made a flourish as if her name were still in lights.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tina.”

“And so polite, too.” He elbowed Adam. “What do we get to do to him?”

“The works.”

“Oh, my goodness.”

“Why am I talking to you?” Adam turned toward Steve. “He’s a paralegal not a chew toy.”

Steve smiled broadly. “I get the picture. Sort of office chic with a little edge.”

“Perfect.”

Steve was gently pulling tufts of hair away from Ben’s scalp to consider length and angle. “He needs a trim on the sides, maybe some color. I think a half shade darker with some highlights. Your eyes are so dramatic.”

“Thanks.” Ben felt in good hands. 

Adam and Tina visited, and Ben saw a side of him that he hadn’t before. There were glimpses of this Adam in real life when he smiled and laughed, but he had never heard Adam talk pop culture, fashion and design like this. It suddenly made Ben feel amazing that Adam wanted to dress him. He couldn’t wait to try on each and every piece just for Adam.

Tina was staring with approval. “Steve, you’re a wizard. Can you make me look like that?”

“Are you getting a time machine for your birthday?”

Adam snorted. “Shiiiiit.”

“Ben, don’t let them fool you. I used to be fucking beautiful.”

Adam smoothed his feathers. “Tina was hostess to one of the classiest joints on the south side.”

Steve was still smiling. “Tell him, Tina.”

“Oh, I don’t think he’d be interested.”

“Interested in what?”

“Tina’s starting a new club over here on the west side.”

Adam grinned. “You are? Tina that’s fantastic.”

“It seems these days that every bar’s a meat market or opium den. I want a gentleman’s club, the waiters and entertainment both fully clothed, a place my guests would be proud to be seen.”

Ben interjected. “It’s a brilliant idea.”

Tina smiled. “I like this one, Adam.”

“So do I.”

“Oh, Tina, get to the point. We’re looking for investors, and we thought you might want in.”

Adam shot a look at Ben. Could there be a place where he could take a client for drinks and meet his boyfriend and introduce the owner and be real . . . both public and private. Could there be an actual foundation to start again . . . to build his private and professional life side by side?

Ben read his mind. “And you could sing again, Adam.”

Tina looked back and forth between them. “Well, I certainly hope so!” 

“Go get the poster, Tina.”

Tina came back with an enlarged photo and handed it to Adam. “What am I looking at?”

“It’s a sign, for my new place, The Phoenix.”

“It’s perfect.” Adam looked at Ben who beamed back at him. “A sign was just what I was looking for.” Maybe for the first time ever in his life, Adam could believe in a happy ending.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EPILOGUE: Six months later . . . 

After Adam returned to work, he and Claudia Dreyfus personally saw to it that the convicted rapist did time. Several other victims came forward in support of Dana Landry. When the man’s father abandoned him in an attempt to salvage his political career, he confessed to a lighter sentence and is currently taking courses in theology in order to become an ordained minister.

Ben established himself in a prestigious firm and was contemplating a return to school in order to pursue a full law degree.

Adam and Ben found a new place together in an elite neighborhood. They ate healthy and made a lot of noise.

Tina’s club had been packed since its opening, pulling patrons from the business world and entertainment industry alike. It soon caught on that the musical guests all had day jobs. A banker could play the blues and a district attorney could sing his face off. It was a place where people could be themselves, their best selves . . . where dreamers made it real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to wish a happy birthday to a dear friend. I finished this piece today with her in mind.


End file.
